13 Woes People Who Can't Grow A Beard Will Understand
1. Firstly, you're always asked for ID. Even for things under-18's can buy anyway.
2. You will never convincingly impersonate Brian Blessed, regardless of vocal acting ability.
3. Lumberjack competitions are straight off the bucket list.
4. Joining a special forces unit is also out of the question.
5. Any attempt to look cool walking away from an explosion without at least a 5 o'clock shadow will be ridiculed mercilessly.
6. You will never feel the satisfaction of shouting 'My beard grows longer' in a crowded hallway.
7. No matter how hard you argue, neck hair will never be cool.
8. People will question the validity of your time trapped on a desert island.
9. Any attempt at growing facial hair makes you look like a child.
10. There is no practical method of catching tears formed by onion peeling.
11. Cosplaying as your favourite game bad-asses becomes more difficult.
12. You have to resign yourself to never fulfilling the dream of becoming an Italian plumber.
13. But at the end of the day, does your hairlessness really matter?
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