How To Pick Your Ideal Cuffing Buddy As Told By Broad City
Let's be real, singletons - summer? It's over. Finished. Dead as that deflated cocktail-shaped pool float slowly stagnating under your bed.
But you know what that means...
CUFFING SEASON IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS, BABY!
Now, for those of you who clicked the baity link with no concept of what the hell the article was about, then thank you, our strategy is working. But to answer your question, cuffing is the seasonal practice of shacking up with a mate for the winter, so you can enjoy cosy cuddles and copulations from the comfort of your (otherwise) cold bedroom.
You've spent all your summer budget on Tinder dates and 3am booty call Ubers - now it's time to pick a winter winner.
But how do you make this all-important decision? Never fear! The Broad City gals are here to lead the way...
First, make sure they share your values - you don't want to be arguing all winter long
It also helps if they make you laugh
Obviously, you need to be into them
But don't pick your boo on body alone - their personality is probably still trash when the abs fade
Make sure they know what they're doing in the bedroom
But, seriously, there is such a thing as too much kink
Most of all, find someone who treats you like the qween you are
And know that you're worth it
So sit back, smoke a bowl, and make your decision - safe in the knowledge that if you fuck up, spring is only five months away!
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