15 jobs that are not as exciting as children's toys make them look
Post Office worker
"Don't worry, I'll make sure your letter gets to the president!"
"Where the f*ck is Dirmingham?"
"I'm going to build the world's biggest skyscraper!"
"I see bricks in my sleep."
"Look at all these buttons!"
"Look at all these c*nts."
McDonalds Drive Thru Worker
"I can't wait to meet Ronald McDonald!"
"They flattened my family's restaurant to build this place."
"Good morning! Will you be going to Borneo or Timbuktu today?"
"It takes 45 days to process the visa. You'll have to say goodbye to your Grandma on Skype."
"I'm going to make cupcakes for all my friends!"
"The fridge is broken again."
"Hey guys, I just programmed a new type of robot and it made us all brownies!"
"I've got about a week till my boss figures out I don't know what I'm doing."
"How many buckets of strawberries would you like today miss Kardashian?"
"If you touch it you pay for it."
"We have a special promotion today where everything is free!"
"Can you get a move on? I'm supposed to be getting a new boiler put in at 3 o'clock."
"...and the train goes through a tunnel and turns into a helicopter!"
"...and that's why we have to raise ticket prices for the elderly."
"I'm going to catch all the robbers! Neeeeooooow!"
"They shot my mate yesterday."
"You can't have platytime again until you've finished colouring in your dinosaur!"
"I'm doing marking on Boxing Day and the retirement age just went up another 7 years."
"Poorly tummy? I prescribe a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!"
"...so much blood."
"I'm going to keep all the money safe!"
Okay, that one's pretty accurate.
Amazing Shows, Gigs And Plays You Can't Miss In 2019
From comedy to cabaret, fill up your calendar...
The One With Russ' Turns 23 Today And It's Still Weird AF
Almost a quarter of a century later, we still don't get it.
23 Years Later, Friends' Russ VS. 'Snaro' Mystery Is Solved
THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION!
25 Weird And Wonderful Things To Do This Christmas In London
'Tis the season to be (very, very) jolly...
The Comedy Lovers Christmas Gift Guide 2018
Get some LOLs in your life this Crimbo.
The Impractical Jokers Spill The Beans On Season 7 Christmas Finale
"Who knows, Santa may show up or may not, we'll see!"
New Look Just Released A Range Of Friends Christmas T-Shirts
Here's to a lousy Christmas, and a crappy new year!
2-4-1 Cinema Tickets To See Some Christmas Classics
Home Alone, The Muppet Christmas Carol, Elf, Bad Santa and more at the BFI!
Dude! Stoner Saturdays Are Coming to the BFI
Under 25? You can get in for just £3
RuPaul Hints Trixie Mattel SHOULDN'T Have Won All Stars Amid Elimination Changes
"I didn't count on the other girls who came back being so vindictive [to Shangela]!"
The First Toy Story 4 Trailer Reveals A Dangerous New Character
"Somebody get him before he pokes an eye out!"
Rick And Morty Just Had Their Most Deadly Secret Revealed
This is twisted.
Elle McPherson Sets Record Straight On Rumours She Regretted Starring In Friends
"Had I known how successful it was before going, I think I would have chickened out because it was such an iconic show."
Which WTF Advent Calendar Will You Choose This Crimbo?
Dog food, gin, and even cheese! We've got it all covered...
Here's Every Single Detail Released About The Impractical Jokers Movie
The HUGE pranks, the wrap cake, the DIRECTOR'S CHAIR? This is all too much...
Oh. My. God! Ugly Naked Guy Called For A Friends Reunion
HE TALKED ABOUT THE POKING DEVICE.
Emotional Tom Hanks Had To Turn His Back On Toy Story Creators During Final Scene
He called the final movie "a moment in history'.
Ed Helms’ Most Memorable One-Liners
“Hey Phil, Am I missing a tooth?”
Primark's New £14 Friends Pyjamas Are Just Like Rachel's Iconic Loungewear
The checks! The socks! The catchphrase!
50 Super Weird, Crazy Fun Things To Do In London
Come sniff Amy Winehouse's poo. We dare you.