15 jobs that are not as exciting as children's toys make them look
Post Office worker
"Don't worry, I'll make sure your letter gets to the president!"
"Where the f*ck is Dirmingham?"
"I'm going to build the world's biggest skyscraper!"
"I see bricks in my sleep."
"Look at all these buttons!"
"Look at all these c*nts."
McDonalds Drive Thru Worker
"I can't wait to meet Ronald McDonald!"
"They flattened my family's restaurant to build this place."
"Good morning! Will you be going to Borneo or Timbuktu today?"
"It takes 45 days to process the visa. You'll have to say goodbye to your Grandma on Skype."
"I'm going to make cupcakes for all my friends!"
"The fridge is broken again."
"Hey guys, I just programmed a new type of robot and it made us all brownies!"
"I've got about a week till my boss figures out I don't know what I'm doing."
"How many buckets of strawberries would you like today miss Kardashian?"
"If you touch it you pay for it."
"We have a special promotion today where everything is free!"
"Can you get a move on? I'm supposed to be getting a new boiler put in at 3 o'clock."
"...and the train goes through a tunnel and turns into a helicopter!"
"...and that's why we have to raise ticket prices for the elderly."
"I'm going to catch all the robbers! Neeeeooooow!"
"They shot my mate yesterday."
"You can't have platytime again until you've finished colouring in your dinosaur!"
"I'm doing marking on Boxing Day and the retirement age just went up another 7 years."
"Poorly tummy? I prescribe a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!"
"...so much blood."
"I'm going to keep all the money safe!"
Okay, that one's pretty accurate.
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