The Definitive Ranking Of Rachel Green Haircuts
In 90 years time, in a historian's bedroom, scattered in between a Rubix's cube, printed out memes featuring the words "Only 90s kids remember...", and your cold, dead tamagotchi, will be a snapshot of every single Rachel Green haircut ever.
So iconic, so important, so thoroughly educational are Rachel Green's barnets, that they will be one of the only sources historians need to analyse our society.
To celebrate the wonder that is the top of Rachel's head, we've ranked all her haircuts from worst to best. Don't @ us. This is gospel.
10. The Bob-chel
This is the kind of haircut that overly-protective mums have. If the words "Let me see your manager" were a haircut, this would be it. Finally, and unforgivably, this is the kind of haircut that attracts men named Tag.
9. The Side Fringe-chel
Mate. Get back on that freaking plane, leave Ross, go to Paris, and get a goddamn soft, supple Parisian haircut. Now.
8. The Straight-chel
Ironic that so many highlights have come to symbolise such a low, low point.
7. The Long-chel
MATE THIS IS TOO MUCH HAIR FOR ONE FRIEND. SHARE IT OUT WITH THE OTHER FRIENDS.
6. The Pig-chel
If you give birth sporting any other hairstyle, you're dead to us.
5. The Wet-chel
Such a bold wedding day look.
4. The Wavy-chel
Perhaps the most low maintenance look of the Green repertoire, Rachel's touseled waves should always be recognised for their raw sex appeal. Not that scarf though. That scarf should be burnt.
3. The Rachel
Despite rumours to the contrary, The Rachel has totally stood the test of time. If that test is titled "JESUS CHRIST WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE HAIRDRYERS".
2. The Flick-chel
There's not a man, woman, or child on the planet that can resist this look.
1. The Rach-curl
Listen, we're not here to objectify the Green Machine. We looked away every time her nipples pointed out from our screens. But this hair is just plain old, drink-the-fat sexy. Just look at it. We all would. Have that hairstyle, we mean. Get your mind out of the gutter.
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