10 Things You Never Noticed About Die Hard
1. John McClane should not have a catchphrase
It might make sense to the movie audience, but why does John McClane end up saying "Yippee-kay-yay motherfucker" exactly once every film? He either says it when he's alone or just before he kills the person he's saying it too, which means that literally no one in that universe except him knows it's his catchphrase. Either that, or he says it constantly in everyday life, like when he's buying groceries or getting out of a cab.
2. The Nakatomi Plaza receptionist is useless
When McClane arrives at Nakatomi Plaza and asks for Holly Gennaro, the lazy-ass receptionist just tells him to punch it in on the computer, begging the question of what he's actually doing there. Even worse, when McClane tells him he's going to the 30th floor, Mr Helpful remarks that they're the only people left in the building. Oh now you tell us! Thanks for nothing, mate.
3. Hans Gruber is totally faking his accent
When Hans Gruber meets John McClane and pretends to be hostage "Bill Clay" he adopts a perfect American accent. Hold on a tick... if he can do that why does he speak in a thick German accent the rest of the time? If you could speak French like a local wouldn't you just do that instead of saying "jer voo dray, urn quasson" like a pillock?
4. Dwayne T. Robinson is really insensitive
"Hope that wasn't one of the hostages". "Guess we're gonna need some more FBI guys". Could this guy be any more blase? The only thing he seems to care about is glass. He shouldn't be in charge of anything.
5. Ellis doesn't care about his job
Not only does he attempt to hand over a member of police to the terrorists (how does he think that's going to end?), but he has the audacity to do coke in Holly's office when she's out. Hold on - doesn't he have a private bathroom? That dude does not give a crap.
6. The Simpsons must be highly traumatic for some people
In Die Hard 2: Die Harder, the characters on Holly McClane's plane are watching one of the first ever episodes of The Simpsons. This was in 1990, when the first season was still airing. That means that for some people on the plane, the first episode of The Simpsons they ever saw coincided with a massive terrorist attack in which they feared for their lives. They probably get PTSD every time an episode comes on the air, and are living in hope of the day it stops being on TV. Which will be never.
7. Holly McClane has no regard for the freedom of the press
When Holly finds out that Dick Thornburg is reporting on the airport crisis from the plane, she doesn't congratulate him on a groundbreaking and vital piece of journalism. She tasers him in the arm and leaves him collapsed on a toilet floor. For... doing his job? What would she do if she met Glenn Greenwald? Punch him in the nuts?
8. Simon Gruber must have some serious friends in the phone industry
When the big baddy in Die Hard With a Vengeance sets the "how many were going to St Ives?" riddle he tells McClane to ring 555 and the answer. The cleverdick answer to the question is 1 (even though the riddle doesn't give you enough information for a definitive answer) so McClane phones 555-0001.
Hold on. 555-0001? Out of all the phone numbers in the fake-movie-dialling-code area he managed to get 0001? Either he knows someone pretty high up in AT&T or he forked out some serious bucks. Which makes you wonder whether it was worth all that effort just to ask one smartarse question.
9. Simon Gruber is a lunatic
Alright, it's pretty obvious that Hans Gruber's crazier younger brother isn't the mellowest cat around, but one alarming detail of his plans isn't even mentioned. When McClane and Zeus go to pick up the suitcase containing a bomb which can only be disarmed by a water-based riddle, they fail to notice that it's been left in a public park where any kid could wander by and open it up. And how are they supposed to know how to solve the "three gallons in a four gallon jug" riddle unless they've seen Die Hard With A Vengeance, which obviously no one in Die Hard With a Vengeance has.
10. Celebrity culture in the Die Hard universe is way different from ours
Despite the fact that McClane has saved hundreds (maybe thousands) of lives on multiple occasions, barely anyone registers the fact in Die Hards 4 and 5, when in any sane universe people would be popping selfies with him everywhere he went. Considering that in our universe you can be more famous than that just by being in the same room as a Kardashian, if John McClane was real he'd be dating Katy Perry by now.
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