The news set Twitter alight as excited schoolkids tweeted their joy at the possibility of getting a C. "This is grate knews!!" said JustinBieber666. His sentiments were echoed by Harrysgirl15 who squealed, "I is sew pleesed! :)". Now, we're not ones to judge but boy are we going to now. Looking at their tweets, those two were lucky to get a D.
As everyone knows, it's a British tradition for the proportion of pupils getting A-C GCSE grades to go up every year. This is swiftly followed by the Anglo Saxon pastime of complaining that things are getting easier. So when it was announced there'd been a fall in the amount of students getting an A-C in English this year, everyone quite rightly panicked.
At first, they tried to blame The Sun for printing those naked pictures of Prince Harry and then they tried to blame FIFA for refusing to introduce goal line technology before Frank Lampard's disallowed goal against Germany in the 2010 World Cup, until someone pointed out that was a load of balls.
Running out of ideas, the powers that be decided it would be much safer for everyone if they eradicate this blip in the space-time continuum by simply upgrading all those dastardly Ds to much better looking Cs.
The Daily Slap spoke to one 15-year-old boy, Adam Apple, who was overjoyed by the news. "I didn't even turn up for my GCSE English as I was on my stag do in Prague but it now looks like I'll be upgraded to a C anyway. My mum-in-law will be pleased."
"It doesn't affect me either way," said 16-year-old mum of two, Verity Groin. "I've just landed a full time position on the dole. The money's great and I get to work from home. So personally, I'd rather stick with my lower grade as I'd hate to be over-qualified."
Rumours that France and Australia have asked Ofqual to also investigate why they performed so badly in the Olympics have, at this time, been made up by us.
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