Luckily for Mr Cameron, Colonel Bob told the plotters to "get lost" and described their "stalking horse" plan - which we're calling The Night of the Long Hooves, - as "silly".
The Daily Slap's political commentator Sir Quentin Tonsils, told us that the ploy was doomed to fail as the plotters chose the wrong type of challenge. "The problem with "stalking horse" challenges is they inevitably cause a rift between the plotters. The issue is no-one wants to be the back end of the "stalking horse" pantomime costume."
"Up front is where all the power is. You can see, you can stand upright and unlike the back end you aren't bent over with someone's bot bot in your boat race. Another potential problem with such a challenge is that it's hard to blend in when you're dressed as a horse. The plotee will see you coming a furlong off."
To be honest, this whole political pantomime has brought back horrible memories for this Daily Slap reporter who, a few years back, was on the receiving end of their very own "stalking horse" challenge.
I was going out with Tessa Testes at the time. She was everything you want from a first girlfriend: pretty as a picture, intelligent, an easy lay. That's why the jealous Wayne Waist took it upon himself to dress up as a horse and start stalking us.
Before I knew what was happening, Tessa had fallen for his equine charms, feeding him carrots and brushing his mane. But it was when I read on a toilet wall that she'd started riding him that I knew he'd won. I'd been ousted as Tessa's paramour by a stalking horse.
So count yourself lucky, Mr Cameron. After my "stalking horse" experience I come out in angry hives every time I see a saddle. Lord knows what would happen if I ever watched the Grand National.
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