Everyone knows the Falklands broke away from the British Isles during the Plasticine Era and just happened to float a long way away to the South Atlantic. So what is the Argentine claim?
"Well, you're 9000 miles away. How can it be yours?"
"An interesting point," a Government spokesman said. "But it's actually only 8700 miles away, so there. Next!"
One problem for Argentina is that the Falkland Islanders themselves have no interest in becoming Argentine, despite their having a better football team and really nice steak.
But whereas the Falklands rank just below, "How do they make tracing paper?" in most Brits list of concerns, Las Malvinas being in British hands drives Argies pottier than lunatic midget Diego Maradona.
However, Britain has a strong claim. We left a plaque there in 1774, saying, "We're a bit busy fighting people around the world and taking stuff, but, let there be no doubt, we'll be back. If there are any sheep missing there'll be trouble."
Fifty years later Argentines ignored the plaque, causing no end of grief. Britain returned saying: "The Falklands? Oh yes, we love the Falklands. We left them one of our best plaques. Now hop it!"
Britain has been emptying the bins there since 1833, and as such, must consider it hers.
Also, it might have a giant field of oil and gas. British oil and gas. Though the billions it might generate is a piffling concern compared to the happiness of our Falkland friends.
Copyright : Comedy Central UK