According to The Sun, if the weather drops below 16 degrees the lithe ladies are allowed to swap their miniscule pants and boob tubes for long sleeves and trousers. So far this month, it’s been below 16 degrees every single day so it’s not looking that positive for lycra lovers. David Cameron must be gutted. 10 Downing Street just happens to overlook the volleyball court on Horse Guards Parade. Coincidence? No chance.
Now, The Daily Slap isn’t going to take this lying down. Sure, the athletes are fine specimens of endurance, skill and sporting prowess but to the majority of the crowd, beach volleyball is like London Fashion Week - all about the outfits. The key word to remember here people is ‘beach’. The outfits should be more Baywatch than Crimewatch.
Anyway, it’ll be easier for G4S to sniff out the terrorists if there’s less strip to search. And let’s face it, G4S need as much help as they can get.
Where will this sartorial silliness end? Will Tom Daley be swapping his Speedos for dungarees? Will Jess Ennis be wrapping her abs in a slanket? Will the dressage horses be wearing shell suits? No, of course not. Because, Speedos, lycra and, um ribbons, are their uniforms. Olympians are members of a miniscule group of people, including life models and ladies of the night, who wear less clothes at work than they do in bed.
So come on global warming, you’ve got 10 days to get that mercury rising. You can do it.
And in other Olympic news, the BBC reports that the Kazakhstan team might be importing horsemeat to the Olympic Village, as part of their staple diet during the Games. Let’s just hope they’re not staying anywhere near the Olympic dressage teams.
Copyright : Comedy Central UK