The Oscar-winning director says he’s taken inspiration from Shakespeare’s The Tempest, which is lost on us because we fooled teachers at school by putting the dust jacket of our copy of The Tempest over the top of a steamy novel by Judy Blume. Ah, memories…
Boyle said that he wants the ceremony to be a snapshot of “us as a nation”. In that case, we can’t wait to see a cast of slightly overweight or obese people queuing, binge drinking and waving union flags as they stand in the rain during a hosepipe ban.
Although the show’s blueprints are still drying, there’s already been a minor backlash from animal rights activists, angry that the show will feature 12 horses, 70 sheep, 10 chickens and 9 geese. At least if the rest of the UK’s wiped out by a freak tsunami during the show, mankind will live on thanks to what will become known as Danny’s Ark.
Sir Paul McCartney has been asked to close the show, but it’d be a nice touch if at the end of the ceremony Lord Justice Leveson stepped forward to give the results of his inquiry. We don’t know about you but we’re on tenterhooks with that one.
We’re also secretly hoping there’ll be a few discrete nods to Boyle’s movies scattered across the ‘green and pleasant land’. For example: a man in hospital scrubs could be chased around the set by a gang of zombies, three flatmates could discretely chop up and bury a body in a shallow grave and a trapped rock climber could spend three hours slowly sawing off his arm with the jagged edge of an Olympic medal.
If any of that takes place on the night, remember, you read it here first.
Copyright : Comedy Central UK