Anyway, according to the Austrian Press Agency, the Vienna state prosecutor’s office says authorities are considering filing charges against a Slovak ‘person of interest’ for digging up the composers’ graves and apparently stealing their teeth.
Let’s hope they haven’t inadvertently arrested the Tooth Fairy or kids across the world will be left with a gap in their finances as well as their mouths. Unless the Tooth Fairy doesn’t exist of course and it’s actually our parents who put the 50p under our pillows while we’re sleeping. Nah, that’s crazy talk.
Although prosecutors haven’t suggested any potential motivation for the alleged teeth theft, we’re hoping the Slovak ‘person of interest’ is actually a music-loving billionaire inspired by Jurassic Park, who’s hoping to create a theme park populated by cloned musicians bred from DNA extracted from teeth. Sound far-fetched? Well, the concept of a Tooth Fairy sounds far-fetched too, but that’s true.
If there is going to be a ‘Dead Musicians Theme Park’ (working title), there are quite a few musicians we'd rather see resurrected for an encore at life than some wig-wearing maestros. We’d give anything (well, £30 per adult with free parking) to see Freddie Mercury rhap about his Bohemian lifestyle one more time and who wouldn’t sell their firstborn to duet with Elvis.
So if you’re reading this, Mr and Mrs Austrian police, ask the ‘person of interest’ if this is what they’ve got planned and if so, let them go. After all, nothing went wrong with the theme park in Jurassic Park, did it? [Quick break while we watch Jurassic Park to refresh our memories] Ah, on second thoughts…
Copyright : Comedy Central UK