Curiosity's first complaint was that the Red Planet isn't even red. Given how little in the way of facilities it was promised, this small detail has become magnified in the rover's mind to the point of rage. "They knew they'd never get me to explore the Beige Planet," he fumed. "But it's beige! It's a fricking planet of beige! Make a sci-fi movie out of that, Val Kilmer!"
Curiosity has already collected enough rocks to reach the point of utter tedium and is now prepared to blow something up. NASA has noted the rover's lack of focus and now intends deviating from the planned route to jazz it up a little.
"First up we noticed Curiosity putting on some lipstick and wearing his mother's bra," said a NASA boffin. "I guess the clue was in the name."
So given Curiosity's playful nature, scientists will have him make a detour to a "cool geographic hot spot", dubbed Glenelg.
"I'll be the judge of whether it's cool or not," said Curiosity. "If it's not, its butt's getting lasered. Boom!"
The roving vehicle is even disappointed with its laser capability. "How can I get a disco going with one beam?" he complained. "I'm like, one red light on Beige World? Uh-uh. It ain't happenin', girl."
Curiosity is expected to stay at Glenelg for a month.
"A month? You be trippin'," laughed the rover.
That's before he drives to Mount Sharp, a tall mound of layered rock that may contain traces of water.
"Water! Whoop-de-doo," exclaimed the most under-whelmed wheels on Mars.
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