"Ben loves to open with a good joke," said a Wall Street insider. "Sadly, he doesn't know any. Unless you count Italy's index stock futures."
Other questions on world markets across the globe include: What will Ben be wearing? Usually he likes to wear a sober suit, especially when he's meeting bankers, but could he mix up this time with a smart-casual look, maybe some soft pastels?
One thing is for certain and that's that Big Bad Ben will be wearing the trademark beard that makes him look so cuddly. It's hard to believe he holds the future of the world in his hairy little hands. Hairy little hands that could crush the life out of an entire industry before you can say: "Quantitative ease me, baby."
Financial traders are notoriously jittery and it doesn't take much for them to ruin the world economy. A bad meal, some indigestion and poor service and they just start selling bonds like they were junk. They're so moody.
But equally it doesn't take much for them all to start believing again. If Ben comes out and simply says: "Dudes. Everything is going to be alright," you'll see trading like you wouldn't believe. They must really, really love him.
Meanwhile a bank in Dogtown, Alabama has failed. The doors were finally closed after they brought in the retrievers. Boom boom.
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