G4S have admitted troops will have to be brought in to cover their staff shortfall and claim they will lose up to £50miilion for failing to meet the terms of their contract. It should be remembered though that they constitute a very British catastrophe, entirely in keeping with our national values. Think politicians, bankers and footballers. They're rubbish, but they're ours.
Critics in the House Of Commons rounded on the company, with Keith Vaz MP claiming they had "let the country down". Britain is effectively buying a product at a very high price that is not very good. Surely that's as British as queuing. If it were an Olympic sport, we'd get a platinum medal for it.
G4S getting the contract in the first place also typifies the UK approach. They recently lost all the keys to Birmingham Prison, according to The Week, and last August placed an electronic tag on the false leg of a one-legged criminal. He was then able to leave the leg at home and hop out.
So, naturally after such a clear display of incompetence, they were awarded the contract for the Olympics, which in turn they were unable to fulfil. G4S CEO Nick Buckles told BBC Radio 4 that he couldn't categorically say his new recruits were fluent English speakers. As long as they're able to pass the rigorous entrance process however and say: "You're not on the list, you're not coming in," we should be alright.
Copyright : Comedy Central UK