Actually, The Sun reports that research has shown that, on average, people drink more quickly from a curved glass compared with a straight one. So if you want to stay sober for longer, stick to the straight and narrow.
Rather than take this research at face value though, The Daily Slap decided that the only way to truly put this theory to the test was to put this theory to the test.
So, in the interests of science, human interest and ‘cheating is eating’, we took the company credit card for a day trip to Oddbins. And here’s a timeline of what we discovered.
7pm Apart from stinging my brain, the 3 shots of absinthe from a straight glass didn’t really touch the sides. Baz Luhrmann was right though. After 6 more shots from a circular glass, Kylie Minogue appeared to me as a green fairy.
7.04pm Oops. I’ve smashed my straight and circular glasses trying to take a photo of Kylie’s hotpants. I haven't even got a camera. I was using my shoe.
7.15pm Finding it progressively harder to see. Just walked into a lamp post that turned out to be a tall woman. If I'd known that, I wouldn't have weed up against her.
7.37pm Rang my wife to tell her I love her. Accidentally called my ex instead. Her boyfriend answered. I panicked. Pretended I was from a call centre. Persuaded him to buy a set of 32 kitchen knives. Took his credit card details and used them to order myself a set of 32 kitchen knives. And a Ferrari.
7.43pm I wonder if you sober up quicker if you blow chunks into a straight toilet bowl rather than a circular bowl? I’m about to find out.
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