"It's time for a more serious Prince," said an insider. "One who wears cardigans." And one who avoids being photographed in outfits like the above.
His lovely wife, Kate, has also persuaded the Duke of Cambridge to let go of his dream to become a top grime DJ. "One is gutted, of course. But there comes a time when one must put aside such childish things and perhaps reduce one's reliance on chilling with the man dem."
The Daily Telegraph reports that Wills inherits £10million from Saint Princess Diana's estate today, however the Prince is not going to let it change his lifestyle. Famously level headed, he is already, "stinking rich," too.
"He won't be giving up the day job," said the same insider who gave us the cardigans scoop. "They'd only make him wave at the proletariat more often, if he did."
William could use the money to buy half a player for his beloved Aston Villa, or pay off his student loan. But while his thirties are to be characterised by sensible decision-making, his 40s will be another thing altogether. In ten years' time, the Duke plans a spectacular Royal Mid-Life Crisis, prompting nationwide street parties as he cavorts in an absurd sports car, learning the guitar and trying to persuade subjects half his age into "a spot of Royal Up-Your-Jumper."
But for now, it's all about being a nice chap, a good husband and helicopter pilot and keeping one's palace in order, just like the rest of us.
Copyright : Comedy Central UK