Yesterday was a very sad day for comic book fans. Science boffins have ‘done the math’ and worked out that although the wingspan of Batman’s cape is enough to keep him airborne, he would die horribly on landing. We hope they’ve not just given away the plot of The Dark Knight Rises.

Four master’s degree students from Leicester University studied the science behind Bruce Wayne’s batsuit – any excuse to watch the movies, eh boys? – and calculated that the dimensions of the 15.4-foot cape would result in him hitting the ground at 50 miles per hour. Bye bye Batman, hello Flatman.

They even took into account the ‘memory cloth’ that the guy from Shawshank Redemption gave Brucie in 2008’s The Dark Knight. Thanks to an electrical impulse this special cloth turns Batman’s cloak rigid - and that’s not a euphemism – allowing him to glide through the air…to his death.

There was no word on how Robin’s cape would fare in a gliding contest but, to be honest, no one’s that bothered about Robin anyway. Except Joel Schumacher.

So, if Batman’s not based in reality after all, how can we be expected to believe anything we read in comic books? Have we been lied to all these years? Is Tony Stark actually a Big Issue seller? Is the Hulk really a pot-smoking pacifist? And is Captain America actually from Beirut?

We’re still coming to terms with our new world order following this bombshell but at first glance it seems to suggest that mutants don’t live among us after all. So there must be another reason for my ex-girlfriend’s hairy upper lip.

But let’s face it, if reality was like the comic books, these four scientists wouldn’t be spending their time working out the trajectory of a cape. They’d be too busy getting bitten by radioactive spiders and spending their days web-turbating in their bedrooms.

Copyright : Comedy Central UK