HSBC pride themselves on being 'the world's local bank', understanding community customs just like old friends. "At HSBC we never underestimate the importance of local knowledge. Particularly when it comes to your money," the ad says. So they'll be aware that Mexican drug lords customs include brutal murder and that they like to have their millions tucked away without too many questions.
In further acts of kindness, HSBC subsidiaries opened a Cayman Islands operation that looked after squillions of dollars for clients who didn't even have names. And The Daily Slap can't even get a credit card. Go figure.
The bank admitted to the US Senate that it had dealings with Iran, Syria and a bank with Al-Qaeda connections. However it did refuse to open an account for Ming The Merciless and was prepared to apply the most stringent scrutiny to any attempt by Beelzebub to get a low interest loan.
The admissions come hard on the heels of the banking crisis, the Libor scandal and massive losses at JP Morgan Chase'. The industry could really do with a pick-me-up. Luckily, it's still paying itself obscene amounts of money to numb any anxiety.
Also, plans for Banking: The Musical are at an advanced stage. The show tells the heartbreaking story of a young banker, vilified by his peers, largely corrupt and devoid of shame. But it has a happy ending. He never has to pay for his crimes and becomes fabulously wealthy in the process. It's just the sort of escapist fantasy the poor devils need.
Copyright : Vince Raison/Comedy Central UK