The Muscles from Brussels has boasted, we mean revealed, that he had an affair with the Minogue from Melbourne in the early 90s whilst filming Street Fighter together in Thailand.

According to The Sun, Van Damme described their lovemaking as "beautiful". He also said, “It would have been abnormal not to have had an affair. I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand." We're assuming he's talking about the country and not his pet name for mini Van Damme.

As luck would have it, Van Damme’s delayed kiss-and-tell revelation coincided with his duties promoting his new movie, Expendables 2 which we believe is a sequel to the movie Expendables, not Street Fighter.

When The Daily Slap rang Kylie for her comments about Van Damme’s loose lips, we discovered that the number we had for her was actually a Chinese takeaway so we ordered some sweet and sour chicken, special fried rice and vegetable spring rolls. The prawn crackers were free, which was a nice touch.

Anyway, speaking from his home in Ramsey Street, Kylie's former co-star Bouncer said, “I’m so made up over this. I love Van Damme. I’ve got all his movies on VHS, which is French for DVD. I inherited them from Mrs Mangle when she died. Or was it Helen Daniels…?”

As well as allegedly romancing Kylie, Jean-Claude, whose real name is Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg, has been married five times to four different women - his current wife was also his third wife. High five!

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