Kate and William, AKA the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, were invited to observe a traditional welcoming ceremony in Tuvalu, one of the more obscure little provinces of the British Empire – sorry, Commonwealth.
As you’d expect from a royal visit, the couple stood and grinned like polished mannequins while the natives squeezed thousands of years’ worth of tradition into a fumbling ten-minute presentation.
Feeling the whole experience wasn’t awkward enough, they ratcheted up the tension by making them wear grass skirts and wreaths of flowers. Then they ordered Kate and Will to dance.
Fortunately, this proved to be an incredibly useful turn of events as the pair became lost in music. They became slaves to the rhythm and we’re pretty sure had the event a ceiling, they would be dancing on it.
Want proof? Check out the video. Warning: The following footage contains scenes of graphic embarrassment. Particularly 01:21.
From this video we can only assume the former Ms Middleton has decided to work through her recent topless photo debacle through the medium of dance – Polynesian style.
Tuvalu is the fourth smallest country in the world, but this didn’t stop the future king and queen of England from getting their hands dirty in culturally significant activities like cutting a coconut in half and play a game of beach volleyball like the one in Top Gun.
When Kate and Will return from their tour, we can only hope that we can get a late entry into Strictly , where we’re certain they’ll sweep the judges off their feet and secure a place in the final. Particularly if Kate does the whole thing with her jubilees out.
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