The Windsors had planned to release Calendar Royals, the official nude royal calendar, but now fear everyone's seen the best bits. The calendar, which will benefit the charity StinkingRichAid, was expected to be a top seller this December, if only the Royals can keep their kit on long enough.
British papers refused to publish the photos after recently acquiring a conscience. The conscience, believed to be secondhand, was found on eBay at a knockdown price. The industry was able to outbid the police, bankers and a number of MPs to the faculty, which will give them a better chance of determining right from wrong in future. It has however, been purchased "as is" and as such cannot be held responsible if it later becomes faulty.
Closer magazine in France however, had no such qualms. Being French, they looked at it from a philosophical angle. The pages of blurry photos of a young couple on holiday prove that even lady royals have breasts and possibly even souls.
"As Hegel once said: 'Genuine tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between two rights,'" editor, Laurence Pieau, told us. "Plus, I really dig naked chicks."
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