Her Majesty, The Queen opened the Games with slightly less enthusiasm than she might have mustered opening a sewage facility. That was possibly due to all the countries she used to own looking so happy, or her displeasure at not being allowed to do her own stunts. Either way, royal watchers assured us she was happy on the inside.
"I'd go so far as to say she was break-dancing on the inside," said a veteran Windsor watcher. "She celebrated as only she knows how. With a good sit down and a scowl of pure joy."
While most of the 4 billion worldwide audience enjoyed a sometimes baffling trawl through modern British history and culture, PM David Cameron must have squirmed at the tribute to the NHS. Ah, if only our nurses could really dance like that. Not to mention the patients! Then he wouldn't want to get rid of quite so many of them.
So apart from the PM and perhaps, Mitt Romney, everyone seemed to enjoy the pyrotechnics, Mr Bean and a parachuting Queen. Except one Aidan Burley MP, who railed against the "leftie" ceremony, on Twitter. He later apologised that "multicultural crap" had been misinterpreted. It's a shame people couldn't grasp the nuance.
Danny Boyle united a country in self-admiration. Trevor Nelson also united a country with his BBC commentary. 101% of viewers wanted him to just shut up.
Copyright : Comedy Central UK