"She's not sure which was worse," a friend said. "Pounding the singer's soft curves for 8 hours, or the endlessness of Sacha Baron Cohen's fourth best movie. On the plus side, she does now know how to defend herself against a dildo attack."
Not that she's complaining. $1500 is a lot of money for a night's work, especially for a job many men would do for free. Our team of statisticians have worked out however that with a runtime of 81 minutes, she would have seen Bruno 5.92 times. Infuriatingly, she would have missed the end, once.
Carey has developed quite a reputation for diva behaviour, with rider demands including a chauffeur for her dog, butterfly-shaped confetti and 20 white kittens. But she has never before subjected others to hours of spoof fashionista cinema. Some have suggested she didn't know how to use the remote which is why she employs someone to change channels for her. Sadly the staff member had been given the day off to attend his own funeral.
It was unfortunate timing as her entire team of massage halting minions had been reassigned to rose petal scattering duties in a major realignment of sub-human resources.
Still it did mean that Mariah had a friend for the night and it only cost her $1500. "It was just like Mimi was no longer a super megastar," said our source. "They were like friends who hang out together. But friends who give each other vast sums of money to have they flesh manipulated for hours and watch whatever movie they want over and over again."
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