Contrary to popular belief, the hallowed surfaces of Wimbledon's courts aren’t grass, but clay. However, because of all the rain over the years the surface got so mouldy not even Cillit Bang would remove it – and that stuff removes anything - so they decided to pretend it was grass and everyone fell for it.
During the Second World War, a felt shortage meant that the tennis balls were temporarily coated in human stubble. That’s why the venue is also known as SW19 because for each ball they had to shave 19 women.
Long before Centre Court was fitted with a retractable roof, an extended break when rain stopped play was filled when Queen, Bob Geldof, U2 and Sir Paul McCartney – who all happened to be in the crowd that day, played an impromptu concert. Oh no, hang on a minute. What actually happened is we got bored so started watching our Live Aid VHS.
The youngest player to ever win Wimbledon was Boris Becker. Aged just 4 years, the young German took home the title in a thrilling match that included a half hour nap mid-afternoon and a short break between each set to watch CBeebies.
Nowadays, gentleladies and gentlemen who win Wimbledon walk away with a rather sumptuous cheque for £1.1million, but it wasn’t always so. Back in the bad old days of sexual inequality in tennis, male Grand Slam champs received a firm handshake and a tattoo of a bull while the women’s Grand Slammers got to iron all the nets and fold them away neatly in the airing cupboard for the following year's finals.
Your average tennis crowd is typically a nonpartisan bunch who, whilst getting behind the home players, are equally as generous with their appreciation of the opposition. Basically, it’s all very jolly hockey sticks but what we’d love to see is crowds turning on players like in football, chanting rude songs, questioning player’s lineage and booing the ones they don’t like. That’s the true meaning of sportsmanship. But it’ll never happen at Wimbledon, the All England Club is just, well, too English for all that nonsense.
On another note, there hasn’t been a streaker since 1996. We’re talking about here in the office, not at Wimbledon. There’s just not enough nakedness here at Comedy Central HQ. That’s why I’m writing this in the nude.
Copyright : Comedy Central UK