Charlie Sheen
Who'da thought? But a solid background in Anger Management could come in handy in Rome. Especially when he sees the traffic. Charlie is charismatic, has a great turn of phrase and his Dad is Catholic. However, he is unlikely to be able to take his two "princesses" to the papal crib and already has a role as pope of Winningtology. 3/10
Stephen Fry
It would be a bold move by both parties if Fry were to be named pontiff. He'd become not only the first "out" pope, but also the first atheist pope. But, hey? Why not mix it up a little? He'd also be the first pope to support Norwich City, though we're unsure about Pope Pius X's affiliations. When asked who he supported in 1913 he said: "Who's top?" That's who I support," though he may have been talking about religion again. 2/10
Mel Gibson
An awkward one, this. He is an ultra-conservative Catholic which puts him streets ahead of most celebrity candidates. However he has a knack for controversy that rivals Mario Balotelli, who earlier ruled himself out of the running unless his was allowed to light fireworks on the balcony on St Peter's Square. 7/10
Jeremy Kyle
Having a fiercely judgemental pope pointing the finger and shouting at people would be a departure from the largely diplomatic popes or recent years. His quote about his TV show: "Sometimes people need to be stripped bare before they can be helped," would find some resonance in the church. 5/10
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnie has held high office and is a committed Catholic. And surely being pope is a bit like being Mr Universe? You don't really answer to anyone. Except, you know, Him. Schwarzenegger's catchphrase "I'll be back," is reminiscent of Christ's resurrection and his being "Austrian" does his chances no harm at all. 8/10
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