We guessed wisely. Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at the University of Albany-SUNY, believes that morning sickness is caused by a pregnant woman’s body fighting against what it assumes is a foreign substance – semen. Therefore, Gallup maintains that to ensure your body accepts rather than rejects the ‘foreign matter’, you should “digest” more of it.
Across the land, male students who regularly earn money by putting themselves forward as medical guinea pigs will be rubbing their hands - we said 'hands' - with joy at the prospect of landing themselves a place on this particular medical trial. Well, bad luck boys. The initial study found that the sperm must belong to the man who impregnated the woman.
That staccato clapping noise you just heard was every husband in the world high-fiving each other. Dr Gallup also believes that semen has anti-depressant qualities, so everyone’s a winner.
Now, our issue with this whole messy business is that there just isn’t a nice word for the ‘foreign matter’ required to make a baby. ‘Semen’ is quite possibly the least sexy word since 'scab' and ‘sperm’ isn’t much better. That’s why we’ve created a new word for it: Lovesauce. Please update your phone's predictive text accordingly. We’re sure you’ll agree that Lovesauce sounds a lot more palatable. Excuse the pun.
So remember: sperm – we mean lovesauce - isn’t just for conceiving. It’s to be taken as required before breakfast throughout the first trimester. As a result, we imagine there’s going to be a lot of men late for work, but at least they’ll be turning up with a smile on their face.
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