Former Italian President Silvio Berlusconi was given a jail sentence yesterday when he was convicted of tax fraud in a Milan criminal court. The weight of the Italian judicial system came down on him like a ton of bricks, sentencing him to four years in prison. In no time at all that became one year in prison and it is widely expected he will actually serve no time at all.

Berlusconi has two appeals he can file to contest the charges of a multi-million Euro fraud. "I'm going to appeal," said Silvio. "I'm very appealing," Berlusconi told the Daily Slap, giving us a little wink.

By the time the appeals process is concluded, he will be nearly 80. Convicts over 70 in Italy rarely do any jail time. Which is nice.

Human rights activists have appealed to the court not to put one of Italy's richest men into prison. "It is cruel to anyone of an orange complexion," said Save The Tycoons. "Unless the prison service are able to provide tanning beds, hair dye and some lovely, lovely chicas, it would be inhumane."

Damningly, the judge said Berlusconi had "a natural capacity for crime." Berlusconi said the verdict was "intolerable judicial harassment", though he managed to tolerate it from his friend Flavio Briatore's ranch in Kenya.

Berlusconi, 76, is also being harassed in another Milan court where, The Telegraph reports, he is accused of paying for sex from an under-age prostitute known as Ruby The Heart Stealer. He denies the charges, claiming the 'bunga-bunga' parties were not sexual in nature. It is, of course, enlightening for elderly politicians to hear the political and cultural ideas of the younger generation. Especially if she comes dressed as a sexy policewoman.

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