We would explain Draghi's complex financial manoeuvres that have caused stock markets to rise this morning like priapic stallions, but we fear it would melt your mind. We think it's something to do with free money. That's it. Lots of countries that have overspent their shopping budget are going to get some free money from a big bucket in Mario's office.
It's also something to do with bonds. Bonds are probably good, we're not sure. We'd quite like some though, if there's any going.
Braghi's plan for the Eurozone is called the Outright Monetary Transaction, or OMT. Pretty impressive, huh? Asian markets responded well to the news, loving an acronym as they do. It also sounds a bit like OMG, which is nice.
Braghi has promised to use 'sterilised' money, which is a macroeconomic term meaning 'cash in a bucket'. Critics have suggested the plan merely moves debt around and is just a temporary fix. If we had any idea what was going on we'd have a very firm opinion on that, let me tell you.
We do know is it's not going please Germany much as they are the only country in Europe with enough money to buy a round. Consequently Angela Merkel keeps having to get them in. It's very harsh. After all, what has Germany ever done to anybody?
On the plus side, Germany will be able to tell Greece and Portugal what to do for the next 50 years, which, let's face it, they're going to quite like.
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