If there's one thing we Brits like talking about, it's the weather. So let's chat. Well, we'll type and you’ll read but you know what we mean.
It's June, for God's sake. Did you see the drenched opera singers in the Jubilee flotilla? It reminded us of the band that kept playing even though the Titanic had just become a great icebreaker.
Just because IT B RAIN is an anagram of BRITAIN doesn't mean that should be our default weather forecast. Sure, it's a given that we'll moan about the weather whatever it's doing but it's Summer. We should be discussing sunburn not "sunny intervals".
In fact, it's got to the point where we just accept it. Keep wet and carry on as we mindlessly wave soggy flags as the flotilla sails by. Doing stuff in the rain has become as peculiarly 'British' as fish and chips, bad teeth and hacking phones.
But we shouldn't just lie back and think of England every time we feel a splash on the face. Oh, that sounds rude.
With the world's TV eyes about to focus on our (wet) green and pleasant land again for the Olympics, it’s time for positive action.
To avoid a repeat of the 'Royal flotilla wet t-shirt contest' we should follow Wimbledon's lead and build a retractable roof above every Olympic venue. But let’s not stop there. Why not do the same over the whole country? It'll be like living in a UK-sized Eden Project.
There's still a few weeks till the Olympics so come on Lord Coe, let's do it. There must be some money left in your budget.
And for those of you who say, "Oh, but I love the smell of rain when it hits the pavement", just remember: That nostalgic aroma is actually wet dog turd.
Copyright : Comedy Central UK