A scientist exclusively told The Sun that we are becoming dangerously addicted to the internet, labelling the web "electric cocaine." You can even do the internet in a night club toilet, for example. However it's rarely mistaken for baking soda.

Dr Whybrow (his real name, incidentally) is a leading expert on how technology affects human behaviour. And he's written all sorts of guff warning about online dangers. He claims our attention spans and memory levels are being eroded. But by what though?

Ah, yes, the internet. Luckily, I could look up the internet and remind myself what his article was about. So in a way, the internet has made me less stupid.

The boffin suggests that the web encourages compulsive behaviour, like checking our smartphones every few minutes. You could probably say the eating of crisps is compulsive though. So maybe the internet is more like a bag of crisps that never runs out than cocaine. Unfortunately it's not such a snappy headline.

His core argument is that technology degrades the mind. Why remember stuff If you can just look it up again? So who said this: "...this discovery of yours will create forgetfulness in the learners’ souls, because they will not use their memories…"?

That was Socrates, talking about something called writing.

We've forgotten all sorts of stuff… girls' names… husbands' favourite flower… where we put our butt plug, etc. Most of us have lost the ability to make fire. We know the general idea, but we're no Bear Grylls. We don't really need to be. And even fewer of us know how to make electricity, so in a post-apocalyptic scenario, we'd be up a certain creek without a certain implement.

Actually we should really try and hang on to the electricity thing. That way we can get the internet going and everything will be alright again. Now, what were we talking about?

Copyright : Comedy Central UK