Remember that awful email you used to get forwarded about cockroach eggs living in envelope adhesive which if licked meant they’d grow in your tongue? Well here’s this year’s orally-related gross out story: a woman in South Korea apparently became ‘pregnant’ in her gob with baby squid.

Altogether now: “Eww”.

According to the Daily Mail, the 63-year-old woman was happily noshing on some calamari before feeling a sharp pain in her mouth.

It turns out that after visiting the doctors they discovered ‘baby cephalopods’ sitting pretty in pods inside her mouth.

It gets worse.

Inside these pods are ‘ejaculatory apparatus’ which expel squid sperm.

Really.

Here’s the science bit from The National Centre for Biotechnology Information:

‘Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva [gums] were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa.

‘On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores.’

If ever there’s a phrase we’d rather not hear again it’s ‘sperm bag’.

This in no way means you should now avoid eating calamari. It’s a wonderful meal but if in the unlikely event you do become impregnated by squid look on the upside, you’ll be famous…and feared by children.

Copyright : Comedy Central UK