Richard Muller has done what's known in the industry as an about-turn and changed his viewpoint from humans aren't responsible for global warming to "Actually, they're as guilty as sin." The study, undertaken by the Berkeley Earth Surface Temperature team, has concluded that the most likely cause of climate change is human greenhouse-gas emissions.
A guy in The Daily Slap office used to let off awful human greenhouse-gas emissions after he'd finished his lunch. That's why we told HR he was stealing from the stationery cupboard so they'd get rid of him.
News that mankind is now the main culprit was music to Daisy the Cow's ears. "Not only do we have to put up with students pushing us over while we're sleeping," mooed Daisy, "but hippies also blamed climate change on our farts. Personally I never fart." Daisy then let off a 6-second fart which kind of undermined her argument.
Now, don't get us wrong, climate change is awful and a little bit scary but if the damage has already been done and we're doomed anyway, at least let us go out with a tan. This summer we've had approximately 6 hours of sun - if memory serves us correct it was a Wednesday - so what say we start reaping the benefits of the damage we've sewn. So come on sun, put your hat on and we'll put on the factor 15.
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