30 Ways Richie Rich Legit Ruined Every 90s Kid's Childhood
In the age of Pixar, kids movies need to be about more than just having a good time. You've got to feel like you've had an emotional journey (fuck you, first 10 minutes of Up), or learned something about yourself (so that's why I feel nothing when depressed, thanks Inside Out), or society in general (thanks, Monsters Inc., work *IS* inherently evil).
But 90s kids movies were a whole different story. Loved whales? Watch a kid make friends with a silly-named whale. Big on board games? How about we traumatise you by making you watch Robin Williams lose his damn mind in a surburban jungle for 90 minutes. Huge fan of capitalism? Boy oh boy do we have the movie for you.
When we were kids, all we wanted was the latest gadget or gizmo to keep us entertained. Sega Megadrives, Furbies, even Crazy Bones, every toy we got was a gift from God. But then one movie, one DAMN movie came out that ruined our collective childhoods once and for all.
Ladies and Gentlemen, here are 30 ways Richie Rich made you realise your childhood was a big pile of shit.
30 Ways Richie Rich Ruined Our Childhood
Warner Bros.1 of 30
Warner Bros.2 of 30
Warner Bros.3 of 30
Warner Bros.4 of 30
Warner Bros.5 of 30
Warner Bros.6 of 30
Warner Bros.7 of 30
Warner Bros.8 of 30
Warner Bros.9 of 30
Warner Bros.10 of 30
Warner Bros.11 of 30
Warner Bros.12 of 30
Warner Bros.13 of 30
Warner Bros.14 of 30
Warner Bros.15 of 30
Warner Bros.16 of 30
Warner Bros.17 of 30
Warner Bros.18 of 30
Warner Bros.19 of 30
Warner Bros.20 of 30
Warner Bros.21 of 30
Warner Bros.22 of 30
Warner Bros.23 of 30
Warner Bros.24 of 30
Warner Bros.25 of 30
Warner Bros.26 of 30
Warner Bros.27 of 30
Warner Bros.28 of 30
Warner Bros.29 of 30
Warner Bros.30 of 30
Related: 90s Fancy Dress Costumes To Help You Escape The Mundanity Of Adult Existence
The One With Russ' Turns 23 Today And It's Still Weird AF
Almost a quarter of a century later, we still don't get it.
Elle McPherson Sets Record Straight On Rumours She Regretted Starring In Friends
"Had I known how successful it was before going, I think I would have chickened out because it was such an iconic show."
Which WTF Advent Calendar Will You Choose This Crimbo?
Dog food, gin, and even cheese! We've got it all covered...
Here's Every Single Detail Released About The Impractical Jokers Movie
The HUGE pranks, the wrap cake, the DIRECTOR'S CHAIR? This is all too much...
Horrifying Halloween Hook Up Stories
"He was dressed as an ambiguous German youth..."
This Fresh Prince X Goosebumps Theme Tune Mash Up Will Clear Your Cobwebs
The Fresh Prince Of HELL Air! It's got a ring to it...
13 Hilarious Rick & Morty Halloween Costumes To Make You Spoopa Loopa Woop Woop
So many cute Mortys...
Best Reactions To (Not) David Schwimmer's Blackpool Crime Incident
Ah, humour based on his pain...
Everything We Know About The Impractical Jokers Movie So Far
UK premiere, anyone?
8 Amazing Facts We Learned From Murr's Reddit AMA
Fame, friends, and romance, ooh la la!
Primark's £5 Christmas Decorations Will Jingle Your Bells
Saw Santa Claus. He said hello to Ross!
Friends Fans Spotted A Massive Blunder With Monica's Wedding Dress
"They're as different as night and... later that night."
The Royal Baby Should Be Named After These Friends Characters
Rick & Morty Fans Watched An Episode With A Live Orchestra And It Looked Epic
Wubba lubba dub dub!
Halloween Cartoons To Spook The Heck Out Of You
Rachel Green Almost Looked A LOT Like Saved By The Bell's Kelly Kapowski
Greens do not quit!
Impractical Jokers' Murr Is Now A Best-Selling Author, FACT
We certainly feel AWAKENED by this news...
Friends Creator Reveals Joey Wasn't The First Choice For A Friends Spin Off
He wasn't even the second...
Friends Halloween Episodes We Wish Had Happened
Could he HAVE any more needles sticking out of his face?
The Best London Theatre Shows & Events To Book In 2018
Time to get cultured, y'all...