16 Peripheral Characters That Really Shouldn't Have Got Action Figures
1. The statue of Rocky from Rocky
It's an action figure of a statue. That makes no sense. That's definitely the stupidest thing they could ever made a Rocky action figure out of.
2. The meat from Rocky.
3. Mongol Warrior from The Shadow
The Shadow was not a widely-seen film, but even aficionados would have difficulty pinpointing exactly who this is. One of the baddie's baddies, pretty much.
4. The Nord from Waterworld
5. The Dark Warrior from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
The character on the box is one of the Sheriff of Nottingham's many knights. The figure is a sort of Herne The Hunter-esque pagan figure as seen in the TV show Robin Of Sherwood. The whole thing isn't anyone.
6. Bob from Batman
Back when Batman films only had one baddie, occasionally generic vaguely threatening henchmen would be promoted to toyworthy status.
7. Penguin Commandos from Batman Returns
There were two baddies in Batman Returns, so repackaging the sort of toy you buy at the zoo for a quid when you're five is unacceptable.
8. O'Malley from Aliens
There is not a character called O'Malley in Aliens.
9. Shawn Michaels dressed up as Hulk Hogan, like he did at SummerSlam once
Even for wrestling, that's silly.
10. German Mechanic from Raiders of the Lost Ark
He was played by stunt legend Pat Roach (the only performer bar Harrison Ford to appear in all three of the original Indiana Jones films), but was a toy really necessary?
11. Burne Thompson from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
You know, April's boss. Not Vernon, who actually got involved in stuff. Her boss, who did absolutely fuck-all.
12. Chopper from Starsky and Hutch
There is not a character called Chopper in Starsky and Hutch.
13. Ace from Hook
There is a character called Ace in Hook – he's the fourth most-featured Lost Boy, making him approximately the thirteenth-biggest character after Peter Pan, Hook, Tinkerbell, Wendy, Smee, Jack, Maggie, Moira, Rufio, Tootles, Thud Butt and Pockets. He's also about eight, despite the toy making him look like he's in his early twenties.
14. The Power Droid from Star Wars
That's like having an action figure of a fucking phone charger.
15. Spiderman's Aunt May
16. The Simpsons Tom Hanks
Who bought this? Who loves both The Simspons and Tom Hanks so much they'd splash out £30 for an action figure? More importantly, why is it only suitable for ages 14+? What are you hiding, Tom?
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