New Trend Sees Women Blow Ozone Gas Up Their Vaginas

You know what the patriarchy is, right?

A system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely marginalised and excluded.

I.e, the situation the entire world is STILL IN, in 2017.

Don't believe us? Check the latest 'trend' sweeping females the world over - blowing ozone gas into your fanny.

Apparently, doing this has “anti-bacterial, anti-viral and anti-fungal effects on unhealthy cells.”

One website claims that it can help with ‘yeast, bacterial and viral vaginal infections’, ‘unexplained pain in the vagina’, ‘labia pain', ‘pain with intercourse’ and ‘pelvic pain'.

No. No. NO. NO. NO. SO MUCH NO. How many men do you see blowing ozone gas into their sex organs? ZERO.

The gas is administered by inserting a cannula into the vagina, where it’s ‘introduced’ to the body. It takes five to fifteen minutes and patients will apparently suffer ‘no pain or pressure build up’.

HMM OK YEAH SURE. SOUNDS FINE AND DANDY. DEFINITELY NOT SEXIST, OR UNNECESSARY. OR TERRIBLE IN EVERY WAY.

We've said it before and we'll say it again:

SO LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE!

CRAZY SEX TRENDS FOR 2017:

The Craziest Sex Toys And Sex Trends For 2017

• 2017 has some pretty crazy sex trends ~coming~ its way. Let's start as we mean to go on, by showing you this CyberSkin 'Twerking Butt Deluxe Realistic Vagina and Ass Sex Machine'. Yours for $720. Keen to read on? Sure you are...

  Lovehoney.com.au

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• Sex dust. No, not the crusty residue collecting in your rarely-used orifices, but Goop's (that's Gwyneth Paltrow's website) latest bullshit extortionate product, designed to help you 'excite sexy energy in and out of the bedroom'.

  Shop.goop.com

  2 of 11

• Say hello to the Semenette, the world's first artificial inseminator that can give you sexual pleasure at the same goddamn time. It's an ejaculating sex toy with pump-based technology, designed for lesbian couples trying to conceive a child of their own.

  Thesemenette.com

  3 of 11

• Melissophilia AKA sexual attraction to bees is a thing. *Some* people are catching bees with the intention of getting them to sting their genitals. Apparently it increases swelling & hypersensitivity. We knew Barry B Benson looked shifty...

  4 of 11

• Wanking at work. A recent article by Ravishly declared that ‘fapping is the new smoke break’, describing a quick wank as a brilliant way to ‘boost output and creativity’. A survey by Guyfi, a masturbation booth popup, found that 40% of people already do.

  5 of 11
• Sex toy company OhMiBod has just come up with a new way to make Tinder-ing and Grindr-ing more exciting - they've invited dating apps to use their technology so users can control other users vibrator toys. WOAH!

  6 of 11
• This looks like a nice, trendy piece of jewellery, doesn't it. And it is. Except it's also a vibrator. For an accessory that says 'I'm cool, I masturbate, get the fuck over it', wearable vibrators are where it's at. Get yours at Lovecrave.com.

  Crave.tilt.com

  7 of 11
• With its structure of 350 interconnected hexagons, HEX™ allows body warmth to be transmitted between partners to make it feel like skin-on-skin. Cool!

  Lelo.com

  8 of 11
• YO is the first Smartphone-based solution for testing your motile sperm - meaning you can check how your swimmers are getting on from your iPhone, using its camera light and video. Yep.

  Yospermtest.com

  9 of 11
• Meet the PicoBong, a double-ended, gender-neutral vibe that's made for literally everyone to enjoy. By its own admission, this tool's 'flexible but firm'. Perfect for whatever, with whoever.

  Amazon.com

  10 of 11
• The Stronic Drei isn't a vibrator, but a *pulsator*. There are 10 frequency settings to take you from 'ooh that *is* quite nice' to OMFGWHATINTHENAMEOFGODISTHIS?! We're here for it.

  Funfactory.com

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