People Are Revealing The Weirdest Things Their Parents Have Ever Done
Parents are the worst, aren't they? They nag. They call. They shower you with affection and love and support and... eugh, they're just terrible.
And, you know what, sometimes they're pretty damn weird. Think back to your childhood, and we're pretty sure you've got some stories. The time you walked in on your dad naked in the shower. The time you caught your mum making a blow job gesture. The time you accidentally opened... the bedside drawer.
Well, Quora users have been on an embarrassing parent story spree this weekend, and we've collected a few of our favourites. Are you sitting comfortably? You won't be soon...
The Boil Popping Mummies
"I once walked in on my mother lancing a huge boil on my father’s inner thigh, right at the moment when it popped at about a pint of clear fluid, pus, and blood came running out on to towels that they had put down for this purpose.
"Well, the part that didn’t fly across the room and hit the wall when it popped."
The Real Stranger Things
"Coming home and seeing them steam cleaning the carpets.
"In Halloween costumes.
"It was April.
"My mother had on a nurses uniform and an Indian headdress.
"My dad had on a a superhero costume, complete with tights.
"High on hashish.
"Cooking fish sticks.
"They asked me to get the fish sticks out of the oven and if I wanted dinner.
"I am forever scarred for life."
The Agent Orange Atrocity
"In high school I worked part time at Arby's. I busted my rump and worked like a slave during my shifts because I really enjoyed that job and I needed the money for gas, phone bill, etc.
"Now, I should note I did not get off any earlier or later than I usually did.
"I arrived home at my expected time and sluggishly half walked/half crawled down the hall towards my bedroom. I had to pass my parents room in order to do this.
"An orange blur in the corner of my eye appeared.
"I turned to look and - OH GOD! - my dad was buried between my mother's thighs. Her orange socks was the blur that caught my attention.
"I shrieked in surprise and disgust whilst running like a mad man to my bedroom. Now not only was I dead tired and exhausted from a hard day at work...my stomach was threatening to regurgitate its contents.
"My mom still denies it to this day. I call her 'orange socks' and she gets irritated haha. Or, more hilariously, Agent Orange."
The Nude Intrusion
"I was 16 and in bed. My father was prudish but my mother not. My bedroom was at the bottom of the stairs up to their room.
"Apparently my mother decided to cheeky flirt by tossing cold water onto my dad in the shower so he got out and chased her, trying to hug her while she had her good work clothes on.
"Anyways, I'm minding my own business with my CD player and headphones on and it's 10:45-11pm.
"I don't remember how or why their bedroom door opened because my mother was laughing too hard but my dad ended up rolling down the stairs and into my room. Naked.
"I'm looking in shock and keeping my eyes up at his face as he covers his junk and he yells at ME! He's like, "Amanda! Go to your room! And I was so flustered I just said, "but, daddy! I am in my room!!!"
"He got up, careful to keep his butt and privates hidden and he's like: 'Good! Go to sleep! I've told you about these headphones. I don't want to see this again.' And I just snarled back 'I don't wanna see this again either!'
"My mother was about dead by then. Her laughter was silent and she’d slid to the floor as my dad did what sounded like the fastest upstairs naked dash ever."
The Horror, The Horror
"My stepfather had just left the house and I was in my parents’ bedroom talking to my mom. I leaned on the bed and felt something wet on my hand. I went to smell my hand and realized I had just put my hand in the 'wet spot.'
"My mom was pretty embarrassed. I wanted to cut my hand off."
Just Hand Stuff
"Mine isn't catching them having sex which I'm actually quite relieved to hear so many of you have after unwillingly hearing it happening so many times in my youth. (sic)
"Mine is a slightly weirder story, allow me to take you back to when I was around 12-years-old I stayed up really late watching WWF wrestling as it was called back then, the main event had just finished and I was so ecstatic with how it went down that innocent little me couldn't wait to share the news with somebody.
"Having no friends present at the time I thought it'd be a great idea to go and tell my parents what just happened knowing full well they wouldn't care, a part of me couldn't contain my excitement like a kid on Christmas Day I defended the stairs two at a time smiling like the grinch.
"My smile soon faded when I swung around the corner of the living room and, I sh** you not acid couldn't burn this image from my mind. I saw my parents lying next to each other on the rug completely naked watching some weird show on tv, not sure if it was pornographic or not.
"Anyway they were laid fully straight parallel to one another facing away from me with a hand on each other's genitals in a low light.
"I still haven't discussed this with them to this day, it was all sorts of f***ed up. I'd rather have seen them going at it less questions would have been asked."
"Sex, I’m afraid. I walked in on them. Well, several of my siblings and I did. Luckily for us their room was darkened so we didn’t see much.
"Still. I was 8 at the time and nearly 50 years later I remember it as if it was yesterday. Just one of those things I would love to forget."
So there you have it, eight truly terrible stories guaranteed to haunt your dreams. Reply to this post on Facebook to tell us your worst parental memories!
Related: 41 Wonderfully Brilliant Notes From Parents To Kids
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