Comedy Central - TV Guide - May 20, 2013

Time Show Title Show Description
09:00 Two And A Half Men Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt: It's a tearful goodbye for Charlie Harper as some familiar faces show up to bid adieu, and a watery hello to internet billionaire Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher). [S]
09:30 Friends The One Where It All Began: After Rachel leaves her fiancé at the altar, she moves in with Monica and finds that life isn't so easy without Daddy's credit cards. [S] [AD]
10:00 Friends The One With The Sonogram At The End: Ross's lesbian ex-wife is pregnant with his child, and he doesn't like her choice of a last name for the baby. [S] [AD]
10:30 Friends The One With The Thumb: A soda company gives Phoebe $7,000 after she finds a dismembered thumb in a can of soda. Meanwhile, Chandler is smoking again, to his friends' dismay. [S] [AD]
11:00 Two And A Half Men Working for Caligula: In this season 4 opener, it's been three months since Alan and Kandi's wedding, and divorce has already destroyed poor old Alan - who can Charlie call to help him out of his rut? [S]
11:30 Two And A Half Men Who's Vod Kanockers? Alan feels guilty when Charlie reveals that he was part of the reason that he split from Mia. The Harper brother must also deal with a noisy neighbour named Steven Tyler. [S] [AD]
12:00 New Whitney Lance! Brand new and exclusive. Roxanne's ex, Lance, re-appears on the scene and Whitney is less than impressed. Alex, on the other hand, is excited that his 'boyfriend' is back! [S]
12:30 Friends The One Where It All Began: After Rachel leaves her fiancé at the altar, she moves in with Monica and finds that life isn't so easy without Daddy's credit cards. [S] [AD]
13:00 Friends The One With The Sonogram At The End: Ross's lesbian ex-wife is pregnant with his child, and he doesn't like her choice of a last name for the baby. [S] [AD]
13:30 Friends The One With The Thumb: A soda company gives Phoebe $7,000 after she finds a dismembered thumb in a can of soda. Meanwhile, Chandler is smoking again, to his friends' dismay. [S] [AD]
14:00 Two And A Half Men Santa's Village Of The Damned: Alan's latest girlfriend turns out to be a great cook and starts fattening up the boys, all the while establishing a nest in their home and slowly taking over the house. [S] [AD]
14:30 Two And A Half Men That Special Tug: Alan becomes convinced that Jake doesn't want to spend any time with him and ends up having an emotional breakdown - leading Charlie to see his own therapist to get advice for Alan! [S] [AD]
15:00 New Whitney Lance! Brand new and exclusive. Roxanne's ex, Lance, re-appears on the scene and Whitney is less than impressed. Alex, on the other hand, is excited that his 'boyfriend' is back! [S]
15:30 Two And A Half Men Working for Caligula: In this season 4 opener, it's been three months since Alan and Kandi's wedding, and divorce has already destroyed poor old Alan - who can Charlie call to help him out of his rut? [S]
16:00 Two And A Half Men Who's Vod Kanockers? Alan feels guilty when Charlie reveals that he was part of the reason that he split from Mia. The Harper brother must also deal with a noisy neighbour named Steven Tyler. [S] [AD]
16:30 Friends The One With The Baby Shower: During her baby shower Rachel has the realization that she is totally unprepared to care for a baby, sparking her mother's offer to move in with Ross and her. [S]
17:00 Friends The One With The Cooking Class: Monica's cooking skills get a bad review in a newspaper. After confronting the critic who wrote it, she decides to join a cooking class, with Joey in tow. [S]
17:30 Friends The One Where Rachel Is Late: When Rachel's pregnancy goes beyond her due date, the pain makes Rachel increasingly irritable. Meanwhile, Chandler falls asleep at Joey's movie premiere. [S]
18:00 Two And A Half Men Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak: Alarm bells ring when Alan talks Charlie and their mother into lending him money to expand his practice. Charlie and Rose continue their secret affair. [S]
18:30 Two And A Half Men That Darn Priest: Alan starts to feel guilty about conning his family and friends, and he and Rose come to an agreement over their respective secrets. Charlie Sheen's last ever episode. [S]
19:00 NEW Two And A Half Men My Bodacious Vidalia: Brand new and exclusive. Alan is still down in the dumps after his split from Lyndsey, so Walden decides it's 'makeover' time - with interesting results... Ashton Kutcher stars.
19:30 Friends The One With The Baby Shower: During her baby shower Rachel has the realization that she is totally unprepared to care for a baby, sparking her mother's offer to move in with Ross and her. [S]
20:00 Friends The One With The Cooking Class: Monica's cooking skills get a bad review in a newspaper. After confronting the critic who wrote it, she decides to join a cooking class, with Joey in tow. [S]
20:30 Friends The One Where Rachel Is Late: When Rachel's pregnancy goes beyond her due date, the pain makes Rachel increasingly irritable. Meanwhile, Chandler falls asleep at Joey's movie premiere. [S]
21:00 NEW Two And A Half Men Brand new and exclusive to Comedy Central. Walden, Alan and Jake return in another episode of the hit US comedy Two and a Half Men. Starring Ashton Kutcher. [S]
21:30 New Mike & Molly School Recital: Brand new and exclusive. Molly starts to get impatient with her lack of impregnation. Meanwhile, Vince has a tasty business opportunity for Mike - will he bite?
22:00 Live At The Apollo From the world famous Hammersmith Apollo comes this hilarious stand-up comedy show, hosted by Welsh funnyman Rhod Gilbert, who welcomes Liverpool comedian, John Bishop, to centre stage. [S]
23:00 Two And A Half Men Working for Caligula: In this season 4 opener, it's been three months since Alan and Kandi's wedding, and divorce has already destroyed poor old Alan - who can Charlie call to help him out of his rut? [S]
23:30 Two And A Half Men Who's Vod Kanockers? Alan feels guilty when Charlie reveals that he was part of the reason that he split from Mia. The Harper brother must also deal with a noisy neighbour named Steven Tyler. [S] [AD]
00:00 South Park Asspen: When the boys go on a ski vacation with their parents, it's '80s-teen-movie central as Stan is challenged to a ski race by a professional skier named Tad. Only a "montage" can help Stan now! [S]
00:30 South Park Freak Strike: The boys decide to create a 'freak' in order to win a prize on a TV show - will Butter's case of "Chinballalitis" be enough to win? And will he be discovered by the freaks union? [S]
01:00 Friends The One Where It All Began: After Rachel leaves her fiancé at the altar, she moves in with Monica and finds that life isn't so easy without Daddy's credit cards. [S] [AD]
01:30 Friends The One With The Sonogram At The End: Ross's lesbian ex-wife is pregnant with his child, and he doesn't like her choice of a last name for the baby. [S] [AD]
02:00 South Park Asspen: When the boys go on a ski vacation with their parents, it's '80s-teen-movie central as Stan is challenged to a ski race by a professional skier named Tad. Only a "montage" can help Stan now! [S]
02:30 South Park Freak Strike: The boys decide to create a 'freak' in order to win a prize on a TV show - will Butter's case of "Chinballalitis" be enough to win? And will he be discovered by the freaks union? [S]
02:55 The King Of Queens Swim Neighbours: A hurricane destroys the backyards of the Hefferenans and the Sackskys. Carrie doesn't like the idea of a combined backyard, but their neighbours have other plans... [S]
03:20 The King Of Queens S'no Job: Doug is pressured into getting his cousin a job but doesn't want him working at IPS. Meanwhile, Arthur fills out audience comment cards on a new movie. [S]
03:45 Frasier Out With Dad: Accompanying Frasier to the opera, Martin pretends to be gay so as to get out of a date. But if he thought that would be that, he has another thing coming! [S] [AD]
04:10 Everybody Loves Raymond Ray Home Alone: When Debra and the kids go away for the weekend, Ray is forced to confront the real reason he doesn't want to stay home alone. [S]
04:35 Everybody Loves Raymond Big Shots: Ray uses his "weight" as a sports writer for Newsday to jump to the front of the line to meet the members of the '69 Miracle New York Mets. [S]
05:00 Teleshopping Teleshopping.
06:00 Teleshopping Teleshopping.
08:00 Two And A Half Men People Who Love Peepholes: Alan moves out of the beach house but it's not long before Walden turns up asking for help with his ex-wife Bridget. Will Walden save Alan from living with his mother? [S]
08:30 Two And A Half Men Big Girls Don't Throw Food: When Jake comes to stay for the weekend he takes some career advice from Walden... much to Alan's dismay. Ashton Kutcher stars. [S]
09:00 Two And A Half Men Nine Magic Fingers: Alan sets Walden (Ashton Kutcher) off on the hunt for a new woman but it's a face from the past that he finds. Can Alan save him? Jenny McCarthy guest-stars. [S]