Comedy Central - TV Guide - April 18, 2014

Time Show Title Show Description
09:00 Two And A Half Men Yay, No Polyps: Charlie gets a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, but she's wise to his plans. Time for some male-bonding with her father, where secrets are revealed... [S]
09:30 Two And A Half Men Crude and Uncalled For: Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case - a family man and horse range charity-founder. [S]
10:00 Friends The One Where The Monkey Gets Away: The gang search for Ross' monkey, Marcel, who slipped out of the apartment while Rachel was looking after him. [S] [AD]
10:30 Friends The One With The Evil Orthodontist: Rachel and Barry start dating again, even though he is engaged to Mindy. Mindy then asks Rachel to be her maid of honour which adds to her guilt. [S] [AD]
11:00 Mike & Molly Molly's Birthday: Molly has a detailed itinerary planned for her birthday, but will Mike be up to the task? Victoria's hippie weed-dealer comes to stay. Getting on better with some more than others... [S]
11:30 Mike & Molly Carl Gets A Roommate: Mike and Molly find a spot of basement D.I.Y. more difficult than they expected. Carl is persuaded a flatmate is what he needs in life - maybe a servant would be a better idea... [S]
12:00 Friends The One With Fake Monica: When Monica's credit card is stolen, she and the girls decide to try and catch the thief. [S] [AD]
12:30 Friends The One With The Ick Factor: After losing his virginity to her, Monica's boyfriend reveals that he's a high school senior. Meanwhile, Phoebe temps as Chandler's secretary. [S] [AD]
13:00 Friends The One With The Birth: When Carol goes into labour, Phoebe accidently locks Ross, Susan and herself in a closet. [S] [AD]
13:30 Friends The One where Rachel Finds Out: During Rachel's birthday party, Chandler accidentally lets it slip that Ross is in love with her. [S] [AD]
14:00 Rules of Engagement Atlantic City: Audrey tries to make Jeff feel guilty for not telling her that his friend's bachelor party in Atlantic City was cancelled. [S] [AD]
14:30 Rules of Engagement Dirty Talk: Russell tries to get out of his marriage to a persistent Liz. After learning that Adam and Jennifer spice up their lovemaking with "dirty talk," Audrey and Jeff attempt to do the same. [S] [AD]
15:00 Friends The One With The Soap Opera Party: Ross gets a crush on another professor, Charlie, who has only ever dated "Nobel Prize" winners. Meanwhile, Chandler attends a disturbing one-woman play. [S]
15:30 Friends The One Where Ross is Fine: Rachel, Joey and Charlie attend a dinner party at Ross' apartment, but they fear for his state of mind when he overindulges in wine, song and laughter. [S]
16:00 Two And A Half Men Thank You For The Intercourse: The death of Charlie starts to hit Alan a lot harder but he soon discovers a way through it with the help of a familiar alter-ego... Ashton Kutcher stars. [S]
16:30 Two And A Half Men Big Episode. Someone Stole A Spoon: After helping Walden out of a twisted situation, Herb asks him for advice about how to get over Judith. Walden decides showing him would be best... [S]
17:00 Friends The One With Fake Monica: When Monica's credit card is stolen, she and the girls decide to try and catch the thief. [S] [AD]
17:30 Friends The One With The Ick Factor: After losing his virginity to her, Monica's boyfriend reveals that he's a high school senior. Meanwhile, Phoebe temps as Chandler's secretary. [S] [AD]
18:00 Friends The One With The Birth: When Carol goes into labour, Phoebe accidently locks Ross, Susan and herself in a closet. [S] [AD]
18:30 Friends The One where Rachel Finds Out: During Rachel's birthday party, Chandler accidentally lets it slip that Ross is in love with her. [S] [AD]
19:00 New: Mike & Molly Three Girls and An Urn: Mike's godmother Kay (guest star Kathy Bates) arrives in town and Molly is smitten! Though Peggy isn't too keen on sharing her... Melissa McCarthy stars. [S]
19:30 New: Two And A Half Men How To Get Rid of Alan Harper: Brand new & exclusive. Alan is shocked when Larry asks him to be his best man - Lyndsey is mad! Meanwhile, Waldon gets suspicious when Nicole pulls out of another date. [S]
20:00 Friends The One With Ross's New Girlfriend: Rachel waits at the airport for Ross, not knowing he is returning from China with his new girlfriend, Julie. Phoebe gives Monica an awful haircut. [S] [AD]
20:30 Friends The One With The Breast Milk: The guys are uncomfortable with the thought of Carol's breast feeding, while Rachel is upset by Monica's growing friendship with Julie. [S]
21:00 Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow Bristol: Michael heads to the birthplace of Captain Blackbeard the pirate for some barrels of laughter from Noel Fielding, Seann Walsh, Hal Cruttenden, and Mike Gunn. [S]
22:00 South Park The F Word: The boys confront a group of obnoxious bikers, but their methods force the townsfolk to redefine the meaning of a rather offensive word. Time to update the English Dictionary! [S]
22:30 South Park Dances With Smurfs: Cartman's vitriol finally gets a platform when he is chosen to be the school's morning announcer, and he unashamedly abuses his position. Power corrupts... [S]
23:00 New: Workaholics Old Man Ders: Its Anders' birthday and he's not handling it very well. Maybe returning to his juvenile youth will make it all better? Stealing a car has to for sure! Though maybe not from a colleague! [S]
23:30 New: Anger Management Charlie and The Hot Latina: Ed and Martin ask Charlie to go and speak to their annoying Latin neighbours. They forgot to mention one of them was hot... Sean helps Jordan with her sex research. [S]
00:00 South Park AWESOM-O: When Cartman disguises himself as a robot in order to play a prank on Butters, he ends up being used by movie execs to come up with film ideas and captured by the military! [S]
00:30 South Park The Jeffersons: A new family arrive in South Park with a little boy called Blanket, a fairground in the garden and a dad with a penchant for singing and cosmetic surgery. Guess who? Shamone! Hee hee! [S]
01:00 South Park Good Times With Weapons: After buying martial arts weapons at a local flea market, the boys are transformed into anime Japanese Warriors, with dire consequences for poor Professor Chaos. [S]
01:30 South Park All About The Mormons: A new family moves to South Park and their son Gary is a stereotypical, unusually perfect Mormon - this angers the boys no end! Will Stan beat him up or go for a family dinner?! [S]
02:00 South Park Butt Out: When the boy's smoking leads to a nasty incident, it's the cigarettes that are blamed rather than them. Cue the glutinous Rob Reiner to arrive in town with his anti-smoking lobby! [S]
02:30 New: The US Office New Guys: There's some new faces in the office - Clark and Pete (aka 'new Dwight' and 'new Jim'), but will they fit in? Andy returns from a month long wilderness adventure all confident and decisive. [S]
02:55 Two And A Half Men It Was 'Mame', Mom: Charlie convinces Alan to pretend to be his life partner, in order to convince a gay ad-executive of his homosexual credentials. Lucy Lawless guest-stars. [S] [AD]
03:20 The King Of Queens Consummate Professional: Carrie discovers that ten years ago Doug lied to her about having a job at IPS and that he was actually faking his employment so that she would sleep with him. [S]
03:45 Rules of Engagement Kids: Jennifer and Adam plan a romantic weekend, Jeff & Audrey look into having children, and Russell runs into an older woman from his past and decides that he wants to show her his physical prowess. [S]
04:10 Rules of Engagement Hard Day's Night: Jeff is in trouble. He doesn't know how to tell Audrey that he got "excited" while Jennifer was giving him a massage to thank him for helping her move her couch. [S]
04:35 Frasier Radio Wars: Frasier vows revenge after a pair of radio "shock jocks" embarrass him in a series of on-air pranks. Emmy Award winning comedy starring Kelsey Grammer. [S] [AD]
05:00 Teleshopping Teleshopping.
06:00 Teleshopping Teleshopping.
08:00 Friends The One With Mrs. Bing: Chandler's romance-novelist mother comes to New York to visit, but her promiscuity, combined with an emotional Ross, results in a regretful moment of passion. [S] [AD]
08:30 Friends The One With The Dozen Lasagnas: Everyone knows the sex of Ross' baby except for Ross. Meanwhile, Rachel's relationship with Paolo hits a snag when he makes a pass at Phoebe. [S] [AD]
09:00 Friends The One With The Boobies: Chandler accidentally sees Rachel wandering around topless after her shower, so Rachel tries to even the score... [S] [AD]