39 Things Less Awkward Than Being Proposed To At The Olympics
Proposals have to be one of the most awkward actions in the world.
I mean if you're going by tradition, there's that whole down-on-one-knee thing, then the awkwardly-worded preamble to the horribly direct question, "do you love me enough to shackle your happiness to my existence?". Hnnnnnghhhhhhhhhh.
But proposing in public? That's a whole new kettle of fish. Especially when you add in an audience... of millions... on global television... like this guy.
Chinese diver, He Zi, had just won a silver medal when her boyf of over 6 years ran up and proposed to her, right on the podium. Lovely? Yeah. But also one of the most awkward things we've ever seen... If not THE most awkward thing we've ever seen.
Here are 39 things less awkward than proposing at the Olympics.
1. Replying "thanks, you too" when a waiter says "enjoy your meal".
2. Replying "thanks, you too" when the check-in desk person says "enjoy your flight".
3. Replying "thanks, you too" when the grieving mother asks you to say a few words at her son's funeral.
4. Doing that whole "oh, which way do I go" dance when you walk towards someone in the street.
5. Mistaking the whole "oh, which way do I go" dance for a possible meet cute when you walk towards a hottie in the street.
6. Tripping up over your own feet during the whole "oh, which way do I go" dance and tripping up the person you're walking towards, causing them to chip a tooth and the both of you to spend hours in A&E waiting for an overworked doctor to come take a look and say "you need a dentist".
7. "Hey, how are you?" "Not bad, and yourself?" "Yeah, alright thanks. You?"
8. "Hey, how are you?" "Not bad, and yourself?" "Yeah, alright thanks. You?" "Yeah, can't complain. Et tu?"
9. "Hey, how are you?" "Not bad." ...
10. Saying goodbye to an acquaintance then realising you're going the same way.
11. Saying goodbye to an acquaintance then realising you're using the same public transport option.
12. Saying goodbye to an acquaintance then realising you're both heading to the same mutual friend's party, where you realise you've run out of every existing form of small talk and spend the next however many socially acceptable hours agressively avoiding each other, only to find you now live down the road from each other when you accidentally Uber pool home together.
13. Not hearing someone and having to ask them to repeat themselves.
14. Smiling and nodding after the third attempt of asking someone to repeat themselves after not hearing them.
15. Getting dragged on Twitter because you accidentally agreed to be keynote speaker at the next Britain First rally when you smiled and nodded after asking someone to repeat themselves three times after not hearing them.
16. Calling your teacher Mum or Dad.
17. Calling your boss Mum or Dad.
18. Calling your partner Mum or Dad during 'alone time' and realising it does something for you and this is your life now.
19. Having to sing Happy Birthday with your colleagues.
20. Having to sing Happy Birthday for a colleague who you don't really know so you just mumble their name during that penultimate line.
21. Having to sit and listen to your colleagues who only know a shadow version of yourself sing Happy Birthday at you with dwindling confidence and vocal ability as tacit payment for a slice of mediocre company-funded cake.
22. When your parents hate your partner and never stop talking about them.
23. When your parents LOVE your partner and never stop talking about them.
24. When your parents LOVE your partner and never stop talking about them and when you break up they ask them to move in with them so they can get back on their feet and then one of your parents has an affair and gets married to your ex and you all spend Christmas together.
25. Saying sorry to your neighbour after nearly running over their dog.
26. Saying sorry to your neighbour after running over their dog.
27. Feeding the remains of your neighbour's dog to them at a BBQ because you're too awkward to tell them you accidentally ran them over and the only solution you could think of was cooking it.
28. Forgetting to buy a present for your best mate's birthday.
29. Buying a really specific present based on a treasured memory / in joke for your best mate's birthday and they don't get it.
30. Buying a sex toy for your mate's birthday but when you show up their entire extended family's there and they grab it out of your hands before you get the chance to warn them.
31. Laughing in church.
32. Laughing during a wedding.
33. Laughing during a funeral.
34. Taking too long to think of a witty comeback in a banter session.
35. Going home and brainstorming witty comebacks for your next impromptu banter session.
36. Having a banter session.
37. Asking someone to marry you in public.
38. Asking someone to marry you at televised public event.
39. Asking someone to marry you at a globally televised public event.
Related: 34 Horribly Awkward Public Selfies
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