Choose These Cheeses For Funny, Sexy Or Downright Freaky Dreams
Cheese before bed.
It *definitely* gives you bad gas, but what about bad naps? A British study set off to find the truth behind dairy dreamin', asking 200 people to eat two-thirds of an ounce of cheese half an hour before bedtime, then keep a sleep diary. UM, DREAM JOB ALERT.
Their study found that ‘about three-quarters of everybody said that they slept well every night.’
Oh. But wait, don't give up on Nigel just yet. He did have something interesting to say - YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR DREAMS WITH DIFFERENT TYPES OF CHEESE, PEOPLE.
Here's what to eat and when for the deepest (or sexiest, whatever) snooze of your life:
CHEDDAR = HOT CELEBRITIES
Cheddar is the most eaten cheese in this country, and there seemed to be a theme there where the volunteers were dreaming of celebrities,’ said Nige.
BLUE CHEESE = WEIRD AF
‘One of the volunteers said that she dreamed of a vegetarian crocodile who was upset because he couldn’t eat children. And another one dreamed that they had soldiers fighting with each other with kittens instead of guns.’
LANCASHIRE = WORK
As far as the Lancashire was concerned, they’d seem to dream about work,’ said Nigel. ‘Actually, one even dreamed of being the prime minister of the country. Well, I can assure you it wasn’t the prime minister who took part.’
RED LEICESTER = CHILDHOOD
‘With the Red Leicester, it seemed to be very nostalgic dreams that people were having about things that happened in their childhood or with their families.’
CHESHIRE = BIG FAT NOTHING
‘The people who ate Cheshire said they had nice sleeps, but they were dreamless".
So there you have it, folks. A little cheesy, but pretty gouda.
Related: Brie-liant Cheese Jokes That Definitely Aren't Mature
Brie-liant Cheese Jokes That Definitely Aren't Mature
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