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Pokémon Sex Toys Are Here Because Well, Of Course They Are

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Thursday, July 28, 2016 - 11:01

Charmy, Piky, Bulby and Squirty. No, not the sexually deviant cousins of Snow White's seven dwarves, who only turn up at awkward birthday parties of distant relatives, but four new Pokémon sex toys.

It was only a matter of time before they dominated the bedroom, having popped up on every square inch of the planet via Pokémon Go.

And in a world where Pokémon toys like THIS are allowed to exist (we really, really hope they're pencil toppers), we shouldn't be surprised that Pokémon sex toys are now a thing. 

A couple named Emma and Josh, who describe themselves as "big geeks", created their own tools for Poké-play after finding nothing to please them in sex shops. They set up Geekysextoys.com (worth a visit, trust us) and soon these delightful dildos were bequethed on us all:

‘Bulby’ – A grass type Pokémoan. Bulby has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have. It’s seed is 5cm wide and 4cm tall and its body is 16cm tall and 3.5cm wide.

Geekysextoys.com

‘Charmy’ – A slightly thinner, fire type Pokémoan with a flaming tail. Standing 18cm tall and 4cm wide at its widest point Charmy gives intense orgasms everywhere it goes.

Geekysextoys.com

‘Squirty’ – A water Pokémoan. Squirty has a smooth round head with a large grooved turtle shell on its back. Its bubbly head measures 4cm wide whilst his body measures 6cm wide and 14cm tall.

Geekysextoys.com

‘Piky’ – This small electric type anal Pokémoan is a perfect size for the average Pokémoan trainer. Piky is an extremely cute yet essential addition to your team. Its insertable size is 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall and his tail is 8cm long.

Geekysextoys.com

Bet you can't wait to say 'I choose you'. 

Related: These Pets Can't Stop Playing Pokémon Go

These Pets Can't Stop Playing Pokémon Go

  • HELLO I'M A DOG DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND LET'S BE FRIENDS NOW AND FOREVER AND EVER
    1 of 14
  • What's a Rattata with *you*?
    2 of 14
  • Ladies, get in formation.
    3 of 14
  • Is this why cats are so crabby?
    4 of 14
  • O brother, where art thou?
    5 of 14
  • This town ain't big enough for the two of us.
    Haru0414 via twitter
    6 of 14
  • Come closer. Go on. Try me.
    Jennifurret via twitter
    7 of 14
  • But he's *my* human :(
    ThatLittleLotte via twitter
    8 of 14
  • Literally, get off my stuff.
    /tabasa_uran via twitter
    9 of 14
  • WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH IS THIS?
    kyoryu_kuramo via twitter
    10 of 14
  • WHO DAT BAT?
    Malayalam.oneindia.com
    11 of 14
  • When you ask your bro to battle and he give you this look
    Thirtyandnerdy via Twitter
    12 of 14
  • Oh hell naw. Not up in here.
    13 of 14
  • Somethin's fishy around here..
    malayalam.oneindia.com
    14 of 14

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