The Funniest 2018 New Year's Resolutions On Twitter
It's nearly that time of year lads...
Time to make those God awful New Year's Resolutions.
We ALL know we'll break them within the first month. You're not really going to get to the gym five times a week, cut out chocolate for good, or be a nice person 24/7... but it's the thought that counts, right?
Don't worry. A LOT of people are already starting on them.
Here's the most relatable New Year's resolutions:
1. When will we ever stop procrastinating? NEVER!
my new year’s resolution has been to stop procrastinating for like the past 6 years lol
— tiller (@brysontiller) December 2, 2017
2. Honestly, why are we so weird when we're drunk?
My 2018 New Years resolution is to stop being such a big fuckin freak with a drink in me ✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️
— Anna Clark (@annaclarkx) December 10, 2017
3. Sorry, what was that? We weren't paying attention.
My New Years Resolution is to regain my attention span.
— Cameron Hurley (@cameronhurley) December 11, 2017
Ethan: My new years resolution is to stop.
Amy: Stop what?
Ethan: Not sure yet.
— Incorrect Teamiplier (@not_teamiplier) December 6, 2017
5. Living in 3017.
my new years resolution is to continue being a dumb bitch bc at least i know i can accomplish that
— paul rudd (@philsadelphia) December 8, 2017
6. The pain. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE WE CLICKED ON YOU BY ACCIDENT!
my new years resolution is to not accidentally click your live video
— chad jamian (@chadjamian) December 11, 2017
7. Continue not exercising? SO DOWN.
My New Years resolution was to be a fat piece of shit, but I already nailed that so now I have to think up something else.
— Blue Moon (@Bluestmoon_) December 6, 2017
8. You don't need to watch people playing with putty for five hours. Promise.
My New Years resolution is to stop checking my explore feed on instagram
— shed rager (@shrdnhgr) December 8, 2017
9. Ah. Sleep the days away. A perfect way to spend time.
my new years resolution is to take more naps
— bills (@baytuckkks) December 11, 2017
10. It is deffo getting done. 100%. Deffo.
my New Years resolution is to eventually update iOS so I️ don’t have the I️ glitch I️ I️ I️
— Albert (@AlbertsStuff) December 9, 2017
11. One day you will look them in the face and say NO.
My New Years resolution is to stand up to hairdressers.
— RIOTGAL (@SophiaTassew) December 9, 2017
My New Years resolution for the last 4 years has been to eat better and work out, but instead I follow fitness models on Instagram and pretend like pickles are a vegetable
— MOM JEANS (@klxurxE) December 5, 2017
13. Now that you could do... maybe.
You, an optimist: "My new years resolution is to be fit, finish college, and save a bunch"
Me, a realist: https://t.co/yHCwvyYcyo
— Zac Czuhai (@ZacCzuhai) December 11, 2017
14. DON'T ASK US HOW THEY'RE GOING.
Me when y’all ask me about my New Years resolution that i’m already breaking on January 3, 2018... pic.twitter.com/yvLcn68HB3
— #isucktittiesforfun (@_iLoveDRE) December 8, 2017
am I allowed to give up on this country for my new years resolution
— cole weidman (@coleweidman) December 11, 2017
16. BUT IT'S HARD.
New Years Resolution:
Stop spending so much freaking money
— kenze stephenson (@makenzesteph) December 6, 2017
17. Ah. Your hamartia.
New Years resolution: stop falling in love with literally every cute boy I see
— glam girl lily (@lily_bbeatrice) December 7, 2017
18. We relate.
Already decided on a new years resolution which is to just Give Up.
Very motivated, starting early
— liv (@OliviaisAwkward) December 6, 2017
19. MOOD MOOD MOOD.
It was my New Years resolution to lose 15 pounds.
Still have 35 to go.
— Nick (@nick_peterson4) December 6, 2017
20. Just a little less. We can do that. Surely...
My New Years resolution is to be a little less of a piece of shit
— Jerry Medina (@J_Medina11) December 5, 2017
You know what? We give up already. Maybe next year.
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