The Internet Just Discovered A 400-Year-Old Classical Song About Dildos
There's really nothing that can prepare you for this.
You could take classes –16 of them, perhaps, every Monday evening at 6 – and you still wouldn't be ready. You could travel to the Himalayas, meditate at the bottom of the ocean, and pick up a Q and U at the same time in Scrabble, but even then you wouldn't be zen enough to handle this.
We warn you: you won't be able to handle this. The club can't even handle this. Your gran can't even handle this. It's a 17th Century courteneer singing a song about dogs and dildos and oh Jesus, you've already pressed play, haven't you? You've already pressed play.
The song was discovered by Redditors who also realised that back in the day “dildo” was a corruption of the Italian word 'deletto', which basically meant delight. Over time, it became a nonsense word, so that it was sort of the equivalent of singing "shoobie doobie" or "doo wap de wap de bop" in a song.
BUT by 1600, it did actually mean what it means today. So this classical piece of music could totally be about what you think it's about.
Whether or not it was about 'em or not, there's no denying that this version alone is enough to keep you laughing for weeks:
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