Pinterest Fails

Ah, cool! Trendy sushi ideas! Sushi definitely wasn't trendy enough before!

Oh, shit.

Tiny candy apples! Everything's just so ADORABLE in miniature, isn't it?

Miniature monstrosities, not so much.

*Sigh*. Tiffany green, just PERFECT for my wedding announcement. So excitiiiiiiiing.

Good God, what happened here.

Special snowflake cookies for all the special snowflakes in my life. What fun!

A more accurate portrayal of how special you really are.

Little tiny healthy Santas! What could go wrong?

Everything. Literally everything could go wrong.

Frosty, the snowman, was a delicious snack I made...

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME JACK FROST.

The force is like, SO gonna be in my stomach.

The force is not strong with this one.

A sweet tweet! That's what I'll call it!

HOLY MOTHER OF- WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU, GOD?!

Ok, something nice and easy. Lovely s'mores. We'll 'av s'more o' that please, Pinterest.

FUCKING SHIT BALLS, HOW IS THIS SO HARD?

Bet making these isn't as hard as deciphering an *actual* Rubik's cube, amirite?

Oh.

The perfect party centrepiece Scarily good, hmm?

Nope, no, just scary. Just effing terrifying. Good.

Penguins. It is impossible to fuck up penguins. No baking involved, even. Off we go.

An army of mutants coming to snack on your soul. Happy birthday, though!

Amazing - even if the cake I bake looks crap, I can cover it up with shop-bought Kit Kats! GENIUS.

Nope.

This are literally too cute I'm gonna die.

Why do my children wish I was dead?

Darling, look at these! Don't they look heavenly!?

Fuck my life.

*Gasp* It's like something out of a Disney movie! I am the modern day Snow White!

Hmm. Maybe the dwarves did all the ground work.

Little clouds of rainbow perfection, ahhhhhhh.

GOOD GOD. WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

Nice 'n' simple. My kid's baby will love it.

Please still let me be the Godparent.

OMGZZZ Gemma totes loved Iced Gems back at school. These will make such a thoughtful wedding gift. I'm the *best*, aren't I?

I'll just un-invite myself, shall I.

Terrifying(ly good cooking. That's what I pride myself on.

I have literally nothing to be proud of.

So festive! So filling! Festiv-illing! Festivalling! It's a festive food feastival!

Christmas sucks.

Minions! In cake form! What could be better?

Anything. Literally anything could be better.

Fine, let's try a different recipe. We'll get it right this time.

It.. it somehow looks like The Cookie Monster? That was totally the idea...

Gosh, Linda. You're SO creative. That's what they'll say!

"Hiiii Marge. No... sorry... *cough*... I won't be able to *cough* make it. It's... *casts around for ideas*... women's problems. You know how it is."

Each layer is representative of how much I love you, darling.

Yeah, I'm fucking the postman. Happy anniversary!

Little tarquin is going to poop his pants when he sees what I've made for him. Julie's jelly bean caterpillars are SO last week.

"Darling, how do you feel about moving schools?"

Seems easy enough. God will be on my side - it is Easter, after all.

This is why I'm an atheist,

Tardisn't this GREAT?

Tardisn't what I had in mind...

This pretzel's so cute, it's tying me in KNOTS.

You are knot my friend.

Throw the M&Ms in the dough, chuck it in. What could go wrong?

How, literally how are they now this colour?

Freshly-hatched chickies! Cutegasm!

Aliens. I have made aliens.

Right, this is *too* easy. And just the right amount of scary for the kids.

Thank god they're too young for iPhones.

New beginnings. Fresh starts. That's what chicks signify to me.

Chicks grow up to be ugly chickens. Must remember that.

A lovely icing lamb. I did GCSE Art. I gots this.

*Weeps*

Now this *is* foolproof. Who, tell me who, could eff this one up?

I could.

Perfect Instagram fodder.

*Throws phone in the river*

She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes...

She'll b-*jumps off mountain to certain death*

Carby, carby goodness. Can't go wrong.

Would still eat, am not sorry.

Beige foooood, puts you in the moooood.

Oh goooooood.

It's CUP CAKE CASES made from COOKIE DOUGH. If it goes tits up, I'll eat the dough anyway. Win win.

How is it possible to not want to eat cookie dough? How is this a thing?

Ambitious and delicious, Cheerios so good for me!

Death to everything.

Pancake day memories are sacred for all children. Musn't mess this up for Ophelia and Tallulah.

They hate me, don't they.

Dipping a bit of banana in chocolate, rolling it in nuts and a dollop of frosting. THIS will be my piece de resistance. THIS WILL BE IT.

I hate myself.