7 Things That Are Always Better In The Shower
Ah… the humble shower beer. What started off as an easy way to help out people late for pre-drinks has transformed into a phenomena. Treating yourself to an ice cold beer during a moment of quiet and moist reflection is so good, that the clever folk at Swedish brewer Fredrik Tunedal have decided to create a beer tailor made for suds up drinking.
— Keith Sowerby (@jamesksowerby) December 31, 2016
"I made the Shower Beer small enough to keep its temperature during the shower, and strong enough to mentally wash your workday off and get ready for a fresh night out," he explained in an interview with Mashable.
So in honour of Mr. Tunedal and the lovely shower beer, here are seven more experiences that are heightened by doing them in the shower.
Having a wee
Yes it’s probably not the most hygienic thing to do, *Extremely Groundskeeper Willie voice* but everybody does it. Eco-friendly too, what with all that water you don’t use by flushing in the toilet. Just try and get it directly into the plughole yeah? No need to get your dehydrated fluids hanging around in the corner.
Enjoying a sandwich
If the shower beer allows you to wash and drink, why not wash and eat? Catch up on all your daily tasks before a night out by also enjoying a pre-drinking snack while having a shower. For a sandwich selection, may we suggestion using a hearty French bread? While we want your dining experience to be soft, don’t get it too soft. Adding some bisto granules to the middle of your sandwich to slowly turn into gravy mid-shower would really add to the eating experience.
Everyone sings in the shower, but have you tried yodelling? Little known fact*, but the acoustics in your average bathroom makes the shower a prime place to get your yodel on. “Soapy Falsetto” is also a superb name for a performance artist. You can have that one for free on us.
*This is absolutely not a fact.
If hot yoga is the hardest yoga there is, then logic follows that doing it while wet would sort things out a bit. Find yourself of self while adopting a downward facing dog as the shower slowly washes out your shampooed up hair. Enjoy a bound angle pose that allows you to really get in and watch that troubling groin area of yours. Stay fresh, relieved and reborn.
Filing your tax return
What better way to celebrate sorting out your troubling finances that in the cleansing waters of your shower? Use a mango and pineapple body rub as you slowly shed a tear at how much money you spend at a local coffee shop and emerge from the shower anew. Skint, but without fear of HMRC and smelling of roses.
Bonus points if you do it wearing one of those green visors that come with your adding machines. They’ll keep suds out your eyes don’t ya know.
win fake arguments https://t.co/7SAUosVIbD
— puertorican princess (@araslanian_) January 10, 2017
Because practice makes perfect.
Slowly reflecting on the fact that the bathroom is perhaps the last place where you truly get to be alone now. No social media. No television. Even those shower radios are played out and you use the toilet to play mobile games and look at trainers on Instagram. No, it is in shower that is the last refuge for me, myself and I. It is your Fortress of Solitude. All there is in the shower is you and your thoughts, rattling around that noggin of yours as you slowly get way. Hey, maybe that’s why you get all of best ideas when you’re in the bathroom. Maybe you should go back to school. Maybe you should go pick up calligraphy again. Maybe singing Limp Bizkit at karaoke is a good idea. Bees are dying globally at an alarming rate is there anything we can do to fix tha--
You get to do all of that. But soggy. Love showers mate.
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