Noel Edmonds Thinks This Cures Depression And Cancer
There are few things you’d ever ask Noel Ernest Edmonds to comment on in your day-to-day life.
Whether he can check your gunge consistency? Check. How to make your house party as blobby as possible? Go for it. Which box to choose if the bloke down the chippy mixed up you and your mate’s (presumably Noel Ernest Edmonds) order, and one is covered in tasteless, odourless garlic salt, which you’re deadly allergic to? Probably, though that seems like a ridiculous situation by any stretch of the imagination.
What you would (probably, we’re not psychics) never, ever ask Noel Ernest Edmonds, is “how do I cure cancer?” Well, TOUGH LUCK, because Noel Ernest Edmonds has got an answer for you, and it’s stupid as fuck.
A simple box that slows ageing, reduces pain, lifts depression and stress and tackles cancer . Yep tackles cancer! pic.twitter.com/krL9sXlpby
— Noel Ernest Edmonds (@NoelEdmonds) June 7, 2016
Yep, there’s Noel Ernest Edmonds, host of smash hit light entertainment shows The Noel (Ernest) Edmunds Saturday Roadshow, Noel (Ernest Edmonds)’s House Party, and Deal Or No Deal, advocating the use of (and we’re not joking here) a magnetic box to lift depression, and cure cancer.
According to EMPpad (the manufacturers of the wellness box), their super magic box thing will optimize your cell functions, by providing it with the fifth element of health (after food, water, sunlight, and oxygen) your body so badly craves, a magnetic field! So, says Noel Ernest Edmonds, if you keep your cells optimized (through magnets), you’ll stop being sad...
Obviously Twitter has not taken so kindly to Noel Ernest Edmonds’ innovative solution...
I'm quite excited to see what sort of post-apocalyptic cult Noel Edmonds becomes leader of.
— Lord King (@tkingdot) June 7, 2016
Other Health Advices by Noel Edmonds:
- Sleeping with socks on gives malaria
- Jumping queues gives AIDS
— Jeffw (@Jeffwni) June 7, 2016
Noel Edmonds. Swap Shop, 1979. pic.twitter.com/V4ikxvi5Rb
— Scarfolk Council (@Scarfolk) June 7, 2016
noel edmonds should try this box instead it cures most ills pic.twitter.com/YtpSkT7HRp
— Barbara Speed (@bspeed8) June 7, 2016
Of course, this wouldn't be the first time Noel Ernest Edmonds' gone off the deep end...
Oh, Noel Ernest Edmonds, what are we going to do with you!
UPDATE: EMPpad have released a statement regarding Noel Ernest Edmonds' claims...
Related: History's Biggest Idiots
History's Biggest Idiots
1 of 14
2 of 14
3 of 14
4 of 14
5 of 14
6 of 14
7 of 14
8 of 14
9 of 14
10 of 14
11 of 14
12 of 14
13 of 14
14 of 14
Five Reasons You Need To Go To DragWorld This Month
Gentlemen, start your engines!
This Friends-Inspired 'Pivot' Tutorial Will Change Your Life
Bryan Cranston Auditioned For Pineapple Express But Judd Apatow Thought He Wasn't Scary Enough
"Maybe the Breaking Bad people would have said, “not him, he always plays drug dealers.”
Quiz: Will You Make It Through Festival Season?
Will you survive through to September?!
Quiz: How Many Festival Cliches Have You Committed?
We've pretty much been there and done all of them…
David Schwimmer To Appear In New Will & Grace As Grace's Bae
It's Time To Revisit This Cringey Windows 95 Video Starring Rachel And Chandler
"Look Matty! I'm computing!"
This Windows 95 Themed Instagram Is The Ultimate Nostalgia-Trip
The Expectation v Reality Of Summer Festivals
What you expect v what you really get at all your favourite summer festivals…
British Festivals v American Festivals: How Do They Compare?
Glasto or Coachella? Creamfields or EDC?
Sketch And Theatre Shows To Catch At The Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2018
Drag queens and quartets and show tunes... oh my!
Seth Rogen Shares All The Pineapple Express Gossip 10 Years After The Film's Release
Title origins, injuries and a whole lot of pot...
Die Hard Friends Fans Are Split On Whether A Reunion Should Happen
Reboot means reboot.
Cole Sprouse AKA Ben Geller Is The Same Age As Jennifer Aniston in Friends Series 1, WTF
The One Where We're Old And Decrepit
20 Years Later, Medical Advisor Debunks Friends 'Pee On Jellyfish Sting' Cure
To pee or not to pee...
Mike Hannigan Had The Glow Up Of The Century And We're So Proud
No one would dare call him Crap Bag now...
Don't Miss These Incredible Shows At Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2018
You will laugh so hard your belly hurts...
OMG! The Twins Who Played Friends' Baby Emma Will Star In Jordan Peele's New Film
They're 16 years old now!
Will Smith Shows Everyone How The Drake #InMyFeelingsChallenge Is Done
Fresh Prinnnnce, do you loooove meeee?
Murr From Impractical Jokers Is Hosting A Series Of UK Parties And We're So Excited
This MUST be a prank...