WTF? Man Burns Own House Down To Escape "Sex Noise"
If you live in any city in the UK, you'll be pretty familiar with having to live in horrifyingly close proximity to other people. Thanks to rampant capitalism and dickhead landlords, rent has never been higher, and walls have never been thinner.
Anyone who's lived in an apartment with thin walls will know the abject misery of listening to your housemate go to the bathroom. Or cook. Or clean. Or, god forbid, fuck. Yep, we all know you're meant to enjoy yourself while having sex, and we all know that enjoyment will, usually, lead to one or two noises. But what do you do when that sweet, sweet neighbour sex noise gets too much?
Well, if you're this guy from Albuquerque, you'd probably try to burn your house down. Yep, 36-year-old Reuben Cook was so fed up with his upstairs neighbours' sex noises, that he "tried to burn anything he could think of" to take his mind off the annoying sound. But now it's his turn to go down... to JAIL. We're not sure if Reuben Cook has ever seen Orange Is The New Black, Oz, Prison Break, or literally any other jail show, but prisons are hardly convents. Convents aren't even convents - just watch The Devils!
In other weird news of unrequited love, a woman unfriended a guy on Facebook recently. Okay, no big deal. He'll get over it, right? Well, apparently not, as 30-year-old Shane Barrett from Cornwall decided to take revenge on friend-deleter Tanya Vincent, by beheading her pet chickens.
Beheading. Her. Pet. Chickens.
Mr Barrett received a nine week prison sentence, but seriously mate, she was just a friend on Facebook! Clucking unbelievable...
Ooooookay, so now we're all suitably harrowed, let's have some light relief shall we?
Here's a dog that would rather blow bubbles than drink it's water... You're welcome.
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