[subheader]Tip 1: Buy red milk[/subheader]
It’s watery and tasteless. No one likes red milk.
[subheader]Tip 2: Get really ill[/subheader]
The more contagious-looking, the better.
[subheader]Tip 3: Talk behind his back[/subheader]
Being bitchy should create enough of an awkwardly tense environment for him to know what the dealio is.
[subheader]Tip 4: 'Accidently' ruin his stuff[/subheader]
“Accidently” put his white shirts in a wash with the Ecuadorian football team’s red socks. "Accidently" breaking his favourite ‘Sports Direct’ mug would also work.
[subheader]Tip 5: Have Top Gear on 24/7[/subheader]
Having Clarkson and those other two dated muppets bleeting away all day is the DEFCON 1 of ejecting an overstayer.
[subheader]Tip 6: Have a lot of loud parties[/subheader]
Overly-social housemates are annoying. This is a quick, fun, and effective method of flushing him out.
[subheader]Tip 7: Filter his internet[/subheader]
Putting a safety filter on his internet should wind him up enough to leave. LOL.
[subheader]Tip 8: Inception a Poltergeist[/subheader]
Subtly inception the idea of a poltergeist so he believes it himself and leaves out of fear. REF: Watch ‘Inception’ for inceptioning technique and watch ‘Poltergeist’ for poltergeisting effect.
[subheader]Tip 9: Learn an instrument[/subheader]
As an Ecuadorian, the Ambassador would probably be best to pick up some pan pipes. Fun for him to play, but annoying enough for Julian to have to listen to. Result!
[subheader]Tip 10: Pet snakes[/subheader]
Get the non-poisonous, scary-looking ones.
[subheader]Tip 11: Become a stoner[/subheader]
Nobody wants to be living with skeevy stoners. Buy a few ounces of Moroccan black (07926 554 060 – ask for Dribble) and get locked into your sofa. Wait 3 days and your problem should be sorted.