12 Things You Should Never, Ever Do After Sex

Post-bang etiquette for the modern era...

According to some reports, us millennials are having less sex than our parents at our age.

Yeah? Well we're definitely having better, less BORING sex than them, amiright... Well, when I have sex it doesn't seem boring. Though it has been a while. We're having ~sex~ every so... every so often. Once in a blue moon. There's just so much to do these days, you know? We're all so busy! Why are you so sex ~obsessed~ anyway, DAD?

...WELL for you lucky people who ARE having sex, the post-bang code of conduct can be a bit of a nightmare. Do you say you're gonna call even though you most definitely won't? Should you pay for your fuck buddy's cab fare, or does that make it seem too transactional? There are just SO. MANY. POTENTIAL. FAUX PAS.

That's why we drew up these rules, 12 things you should never, ever do after sex.

Josh Pappenheim - @papsby

Related: When Sex Ed Gets Weird