13 Shockin' Zero-Budget Pop Videos

Turn Back Now, While You Still Can

[subheader:list:1]D4NNY - GOODBYE[/subheader]

Pouring his heart out in the sixth-form college café, he is.

Best bit:
1 min 37 sec: "I just wanna leave this settee/This bullshit isn't happening agaaaaaiin."

[subheader:list:2]REH DOGG - WHY MUST I CRY?[/subheader]

A typical Reh Dogg day: sweat, sob, shower, get pursued through woods, repeat.

Best bit
0 min 26 sec: A coy fingering of the shower door followed by a lively soaping-up of the bumcheeks.

[subheader:list:3]MARK GORMLEY - LITTLE WINGS[/subheader]

A voice as high and proud as the bird it serenades.

Best bit
0 min 59 sec: Gives us shivers down the spine! (Plus vibrations in the armpits and quivers up the nipsy).

[subheader:list:4]CRAZY LOCS - FOR THE MOMMYS[/subheader]

Sooo… what’s going on with your hands there, dude?

Best bit
2 min 44 sec: "The way your bodies are forrrmed/Torns/Me orrrrn/When I'm at horrme alorrne/I always call you on my cordless phoorrrne."

[subheader:list:5]BUMFLUFF GANGSTA YOOF - FREESTYLE RAP[/subheader]

Serious trouble awaits anyone who wanders onto their patch (i.e. the climbing frame).

Best bit
0 min 17 sec: Big-boobed "girl-girl" Katie Price gets the seal of approval.

[subheader:list:6]BANGS - TAKE U TO DA MOVIES[/subheader]

Enjoy overly detailed, weirdly specific songs about cinema-going? Then you are in luck!

Best bit:
0 min 49 sec: "Take a step through the door/Be careful, don't fall!/Let's sit on those two chairs."

[subheader:list:7]MAX HARRIS - HIGH[/subheader]

He’s a on a battleship, it’s sinking, please help him.

Best bit
1 min 21 sec: And the Grammy for Best Anguished Whispering goes to...

[subheader:list:8]DOUBLE TAKE - HOT PROBLEMS[/subheader]

They are half-joking, but then they’re also half-not-joking.

Best bit
"Girls say I'm conceited/On behalf all hot girls: those comments aren't needed."

[subheader:list:9]VENNU MALESH - IT'S MY LIFE WHATEVER I WANNA DO[/subheader]

He’s a brain-eater, a mind-reader, a smart cheater and a kids-lover.

Best bit
2 min 21 sec: Vennu's backing singer lets slip a momentary cringe of doubt.

[subheader:list:10]GENSA - WILDER[/subheader]

Gensa has a somewhat footloose and fancy-free approach to singing in tune.

Best bit:
4 min 7 sec: Just when you start to think it'll never, ever end, ever – it finally ends.

[subheader:list:11]COREY FELDMAN - ASCENSION MILLENIUM[/subheader]

Charlie Sheen X Michael Jackson = Corey Feldman.

Best bit
1 min 34 sec: OMFG is that Sean Astin from Goonies/Lord Of The Rings?! Oh, Sean…

[subheader:list:12]KIDS ON STAGE FOR A BETTER WORLD - DON'T PASS ME BY [/subheader]

Meet Scientology’s in-house teen-pop band. For reals.

Best bit
4 min 20 sec: Mr Coolguy O'Satintrousers leads a final, triumphant charge by the children of Xenu.

[subheader:list:13]JAN TERRI - SKYROCKETS[/subheader]

Hell hath no fury like a dog-walking Jan scorned.

Best bit
0 min 19 sec: We like our Jan like we like our whiskey – on the rocks.