14 Things That Donald Trump Has Definitely Never Ever Said

"I really need a job..."

They say a week's a long time in politics, but the last few days must seem like a lifetime for Donald Trump.

A disastrous TV debate appearance, pre-gamed by a pretty damning piece of candid footage, mean DT has had some pretty furious backpeddling to do. Seriously, think Nick Clegg quintupling student debt meets BP after a worldwide oil spill and you're only half way there.

So, we've trawled through the records*, unearthed every unaired transcript**, studied every article, interview, and YouTube clip*** to find...

DRUMROLL

The 14 things Donald Trump has definitely never said...

Josh Pappenheim - @papsby

*Lies.
** More lies.
*** Even more lies.

Related: 21 Times Donald Trump Reared His Head In Pop Culture